Summer is coming up FAST
Make friends with your weakness
Pick your discipline
The power of re framing negative thoughts
I went to the mailbox and got the mail a couple weeks ago and in it was the new Athleta catalog. Athleta is a fitness line in case you don’t know what it is. And on the cover was a plus size woman surrounded by other plus size women and I think one or two other women. My first thought was “what in the world?” In my opinion, That doesn’t showcase health and fitness. And then I went into an Athleta retail store and they had several plus size mannequins. Hear me out before you get upset, In a world where everyone has to walk on eggshells about what they say, I wonder what you guys think of this. We are human and we have to give each other grace. I think there probably are a bunch of different thoughts on it. But, I’m going to be honest. It bothered me when I first saw it. I had to do some soul searching to get to the bottom of why???? Why would it bother me? I would like to say it’s because I worry for people that are plus size and I worry about their health and Athleta is promoting an unhealthy lifestyle when they should be promoting a healthy lifestyle. That’s the kind of politically correct way of not liking it, if there is one, but if I’m being honest, it isn’t that. I work hard to be healthy and fit and sometimes I have to really try not to judge those that don’t. And then I realized, I buy Athleta so that I look good and feel good when I’m working out at the gym which I do, 6 days a week, feeling like I look good in my clothes keeps me motivated. I’m used to going into Athleta and seeing mannequins about my size or less and it motivates me to try those outfits on because it looks good on the mannequin so maybe it would look like that on me as well. It keeps me really motivated.
And then it hit me. What if Athleta is trying to do the same thing for women that are plus size? I was thinking about it in completely the wrong way. What if plus size women see those models and see those mannequins and buy those clothes and it motivates them to be healthy and fit as well? Because the clothes did look good on the mannequins, it really did. It’s brilliant actually. Now, don’t let that lull you into settling for less than what you ultimately want for your body because living a wildly successful lifestyle is not settling for mediocrity. There is a big difference though between a plus size mannequin and a living breathing human that knows how it feels to be tired just from walking up one set of stairs or from not feeling good in your clothes, I’ve been there. But you see my point here isn’t that, we all have to deal with our own thoughts and our own motivations. My point is, I completely changed my point of view of those mannequins and models. I now look at them and I think wow, good for Athleta, they are making the world a better place. Now. Whether or not that is their motivation behind it, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. Why? Because what matters in my life is how I view and think about anything. I am in complete control of that and I get to frame it in a way that best leaves me feeling happy and inspired.
Now some say that may be delusional, but what’s the downside? What’s the downside of taking a judgment, a negative situation, a negative thought and making a game of turning it into a positive? We know from studies that we have about 60,000 thoughts, 80% of which are negative. Our brain is kind of hardwired that way to keep us safe and the automatic reaction often is negative because it’s the way our ancestors stayed alive by being aware of danger….it doesn’t really serve us anymore…I haven’t had to run from a saber tooth tiger in my lifetime, have you? So we have to work kind of hard to turn these negative thoughts around, but once it becomes a habit, you’ll notice you start looking for it everywhere.
We were on vacation a couple years ago and we were staying in a condo that overlooked the pool. Everyone was napping so I thought I would just run down and get some sun at the pool so I looked out to see the status of the pool and there was in my mind a big guy that had several tattoos and my immediate thought was, I’ll wait, but then I went wait a minute. That could be my brother, he is about that size and he has almost that same tattoo and guess what, there isn’t a sweeter human being in the world. He’s a big teddy bear, so I went and laid out and guess what that guy’s family joined him and he was the sweetest most adorable dad ever to his kids. Kind of made me want to cry but also taught me a valuable lesson. So now, when I am out and I see someone that my mind immediately wants to judge negatively, I think…what could I love about that person? I’ll make up a scenario where they are hugging their grandkids, or taking flowers to their mom or working hard to support a family at home…it humanizes them to me.
And there will be times where you have to listen to your intuition and know something doesn’t feel right, I need to be careful and of course you should listen. I just know that there is a real deep connection to your happiness and your thoughts.
And one last thought for you, I have heard people say, well I don’t care what people do in their private lives, I just don’t want to feel like it’s being shoved down my throat and I understand that line of thought, that’s valid, but you see that’s a trap because saying that, you still are relying on someone else or a group of someone else to change in order for you to be happy and you cannot ever count on that to happen. You can’t count on someone else to change their behavior or their thoughts in order for you to be happy. It all has to come from you. You have to figure out a way to re frame things so that in the worst case scenario you just accept the throat and move away from it, don’t dwell on it.
You may know the serenity prayer: It’s widely attributed to Dr Reinhold Niebuhr:
Give me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Each of us has the responsibility to ourselves to be happy. When we are truly happy we shine that light into the world and it inspires others to be happy as well.
My challenge to you this week is to catch yourself when you are having a negative thought or a negative situation and re frame it. Don’t beat yourself up, we all do it.. Ask a question that empowers you..like how is this situation going to work out in my favor in the long run? What can I love about that person? What lesson am I learning from this right now? I’ll be working on this right along with you.
If you look for the bad you’re gonna find it, if you look for the good, you’re gonna find that too. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
