How to build a stronger mindset

Episode 495
Wildly Successful Lifestyle

LISTEN TO: How to build a stronger mindset

Hi guys! Welcome to Epiaode 495 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! I’m glad you’re here. You’re the best for always supporting the Wildly Successful lifestyle podcast. Together we are making the world a mentally stronger place.

We were at a pool party this summer and someone said “knowledge is power” and to that another person said “knowledge is only potential power, it isn’t powerful unless you put it to use”. For people like you and me who love to learn by listening to podcasts and reading That’s a good thing to remember. We can know all the good stuff but it does us no good unless we apply it.

Ok, In a world where mental health issues seem to be growing instead of getting better and also where the answer from drs is often to medicate, it has to be on each one of us to manage our own mental health. We are meant to feel good. There are not those lucky people who were just meant to have it all and meant to be happy and those that aren’t. That’s not how it is. No, life is supposed to be fun and we are meant to be happy. Now obviously there are times when we won’t be happy like when something bad has happened. But Anymore when I find myself feeling la little sad or maybe a little grumpy and there isn’t a reason why like someone hasn’t died, or been hurt so there’s not an apparent reason for me to feel bad then I try to notice what it is I’m focusing on that’s hindering my feeling good because I know that there’s probably something I’m thinking about that may not even be conscious but is in the way of my own happiness and I want to figure out what it is. Our own happiness is always available, there’s usually just something that is in the way, sometimes it’s apparent and sometimes it’s a created thought. I read recently that the sky is always blue it’s just sometimes it’s covered with gray clouds. I know this to be true because I’ve been on a plane before and when we broke through the clouds the sky above was the most beautiful blue I’d ever seen. That’s how our own internal peace and happiness is, it’s always available just sometimes we have to get past the clouds, sometimes those clouds are a temporary phase and sometimes those clouds are self created thought clouds.

My husband and I were recently in a boutique on vacation and there was a young very beautiful sales girl helping us, she was from Spain and simply stunning. Her skin glowed like it does in your 20’s if you’re healthy. I noticed when I was in the dressing room I was looking at my skin and I noticed mine didn’t glow quite like that anymore. Now that thought didn’t feel good. As I often do I caught that thought and I fixed it by saying to myself “you’re comparing your skin to a 20 year old Spanish girl and that’s ridiculous and a recipe for disaster”. A lot of times When we compare, we despair because we are using it as a weapon against ourselves. Have you ever noticed yourself doing that? Using comparison as a way to feel bad? Comparison is a deeply rooted human tendency. Some people compare all the time and some people compare only a little bit. Comparison can be a destructive weapon that will have us miserable faster than almost anything else but it can also be used as a source of inspiration. Because comparison is a natural human tendency, it’s something we really need to get a handle on especially in the age of social media which has everyone’s best side and all the fancy things staring at us whenever we pick up our phone. It’s easy to come up with the idea that what we have isn’t as great. But comparison is natural but does it always have to be destructive? I mean is there a way to reframe it?

A hammer can be used to build or tear down. A shovel can be used to dig a hole for plant or to kill a snake, a knife can be used to cut a birthday cake or as a weapon. The thing that makes the difference is the one using it and in what way they are using Like a hammer.

Comparison can be used as a weapon or as inspiration of how we can be better.

My husband and I get our nails done at a Vietnamese salon. I talked about in an episode a while back that I switched salons because my old salon no one seemed happy and they were grumpy to each other and sometimes grumpy to their clients but anyway our new salon is the opposite. Man do they have a good time and in turn so do we. Over the course of time we’ve been there they tell us about all of their adventures traveling. They are always doing new things, taking little weekend trips here and there, all the time. Eric and I love to travel but we generally do week or two week trips and I caught myself thinking we are kind of lame on the weekends we just do the same thing all the time I want to take weekend trips and so there I was again making myself and Eric feel like our life was boring compared to Mike and Tina at the nail shop. But you know what it also did? It inspired us. Instead of using the comparison to feel bad, we used it to book a weekend trip doing something new that we’ve never done before. We booked a glamping trip in the mountains in a few weeks. I’m excited about that! oh and the 25 year old Spanish girl with the glowing skin? She inspired the cutest outfit that I can’t wait to wear. Of course I’ts unrealistic for me to be 25 again but I can still feel amazing and beautiful and sometimes a beautiful outfit inspired by someone else can do just that. By turning comparison into inspiration, you take what could be used and often is used as a weapon and turn it into something that inspires us to be better.

By reframing comparison from a negative destructive weapon into an inspirational self improvement tool we harness the benefits the natural human tendency of comparison and minimize the downsides. We probably aren’t going to eliminate comparisons all together but we can reframe them in a way that enhances our life.
This is a tool that will build our mental strength and improve our mental health which ultimately leads to a happier disposition.

My challenge to you this week is to notice when you are starting to use comparison as a weapon and intentionally reframe it in a way that benefits you. We have that power. We are getting mentally stronger with every positive reframe we make. Your Peace and happiness is always available, you just have to clear the clouds. Share this with 3 people whose happiness is of utmost importance to you. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days!

Wildly Successful Lifestyle

New Episodes Every Monday and Friday!

Where to Listen:

More from the Wildly Successful Lifestyle Podcast:

Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Get Access

Every Successful Person Knows their 3 Words

Submit your email below to get FREE access to the PDF and Video Guide that helps you live a Wildly Successful Life!