Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 596 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast. If you’re new, Im glad you’re here and If you’ve hung out with me for a while….just know that you’re the best! And keep hanging out because we’re really just about 10- 15 minute reminders that our mindset matters in everything we do. I don’t think we were taught that growing up unless you had unusually aware parents that helped you see how your thoughts matter. But if that’s not you and it wasn’t me either, my parents are great but that just wasn’t their thing, if that’s not you either, then these short little episodes will give you little things to think about to remind you that you’re in control of your overall happiness, no-one else can do it for you and a majority of that happiness depends on the thoughts you have about most things. Because life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies but it’s how you deal with the uncomfortable things that matter. You know, the uncomfortable feelings most of us try to dodge. The itches, the aches, the nagging thoughts that pop up and make us anxious. This episode is inspired by a recent meditation session that really shifted my perspective, and I think it’ll resonate with you too. It was on how leaning into discomfort might just be the key to feeling more at peace.
SO the other morning, I’m in my Tuscan room in my cozy chair with the rain pleasantly falling outside, doing my daily meditation. Henry’s guiding us—Henry’s this amazing meditation teacher I’ve been following for a while now, super grounded and wise without being over the top. Anyway, this particular meditation has us sort of scanning our bodies, looking for and being aware of any unpleasant feelings. Maybe an itch somewhere on your skin, or an aching joint that’s been bugging you. Now, I don’t love focusing on unpleasant things any more than anyone else does. My first instinct is like, “Henry, can’t we just bliss out on good feelings or something?” But he’s doing it for a reason, so here I am, diligently noticing these little discomforts during my sit, which is what he calls the meditation practice.
But it was interesting—he’s not just pointing them out to torture us. He’s asking us to dig a bit deeper: How do we know it’s unpleasant? Like, where in our experience do we notice the actual disliking of it? And then, on top of that, noticing the wanting for it to not be there. That pull to scratch the itch, to shift positions, to make it go away right now. At the same time, though, he wants us to just allow it all to be there. Allow the discomfort, allow the wanting it to change, and let it all be okay without jumping in to solve it or fix it. That’s not an easy thing to do, especially with an itch! I mean, come on, my mind was like, “Just scratch it already, Heidi—no one cares!!”
But as I sat there, really trying to practice this, something shifted. And I’m certain this is what Henry already knew would happen. The more I allowed the itch as my current reality—the sensation itself, without labeling it as “bad”—and allowed the wanting it to change as part of that reality too, the less it became a problem. It didn’t magically disappear, but its grip on me loosened. It was like turning down the volume on a radio that’s been blaring static. Suddenly, it was just… there. Not dominating my whole meditation, not ruining my morning. And that got me thinking: Isn’t this how so much of life works? It’s that intense need to never be uncomfortable—to always solve for it, ignore it, or distract ourselves—that actually makes those feelings bigger, louder, more insistent.
And, I know it’s one thing to say it in a meditation and another to live it out in the real world. So in your reality, Maybe it’s not an itch, but that nagging worry about work deadlines, or the frustration when traffic’s backed up and you’re running late. Or, hey, those emotional itches, like feeling overlooked in a conversation or dealing with a family member’s quirky habit that drives you nuts. Our default mode is to resist, right? We tense up, we complain internally (or out loud), we scroll on our phones to numb it out. But what if, instead, we paused and noticed: Okay, this feels unpleasant. I notice I’m disliking it. I notice I want it to stop. And then… we just let that be okay for a moment? No fixing, no forcing.
I tried this the other day. I’m working on a kitchen renovation and as I do with every single project once I make a decision about a design aspect, I very rarely go back and change it because I have usually narrowed it down over an agonizing amount of time to get to the final decision. But once the decision is made, especially if it’s unique or different, I find myself worrying that “what if it is going to look awful? What if the sconce doesn’t sit flush on the tile? What if the accent color is to stark? So many uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. So the other day I was having one of those moments when I noticed myself saying, “why do I even put myself through this, I don’t HAVE to work, I choose to so why put myself through this stress?” I noticed I was deep in fighting an uncomfortable feeling when I said ok, it doesn’t feel good, I am trying to solve for it, what if I just let myself feel the feeling and be ok that I am over analyzing, just let that reality be there and not wish it were different. Interestingly it worked. I thought ok, this comes with the territory of doing things outside of the box and I’m happy that I can do that. A little discomfort is ok, it means I’m doing something hard and I’m ok with that. If it were easy everyone could do it. And I sat with it, it did not take long for that grip to ease, it really didn’t because I was ok with it which took all it’s leverage away.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about becoming a doormat or ignoring real problems. If something’s truly harmful, like a toxic relationship or a health issue, absolutely address it. But for those everyday discomforts—the ones that aren’t emergencies but still hijack our peace—this acceptance thing is gold. It’s like training a muscle. The more you practice in small ways, the stronger you get for the bigger stuff. And science backs this up, too—mindfulness research shows that when we stop resisting pain or discomfort, our brain’s stress response dials down. It’s not pie in the sky, it’s wiring.
The resistance really is what fuels the fire of the discomfort.
This ties into so much of what we talk about on this podcast—building a lifestyle that’s resilient, not rigid. We chase comfort all the time: the perfect playlist, the ideal temperature, the seamless schedule. But life isn’t seamless. It’s messy, with itches and aches baked in. By practicing acceptance, we’re not giving up; we’re gaining freedom. Freedom from that constant inner battle. Imagine applying this to your relationships—accepting a friend’s flaw without needing to change them right away. Or to your body image—noticing the self-criticism without spiraling into diets or shame. It’s liberating.
Embracing the itch isn’t about loving discomfort; it’s about not letting it control you. That morning meditation reminded me: the power isn’t in erasing the unpleasant—it’s in allowing it space, and watching it lose its edge.
And if meditation’s is on your radar, check out guides like Henry—from the Way app. Or Jeff Warren from the Calm app. I can’t tell you in words how much it’s helped my life.
My challenge to you today is the next time an unpleasant feeling pops up—physical or emotional—pause for 30 seconds. Notice it without judgment. Say to yourself: “This is here. I don’t like it. I want it different. And that’s okay.” Don’t force a fix. Just observe. Over time, you’ll see the shift. Share this with someone who may be feeling some discomfort this week. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
