Are you stuck in Autopilot?
Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 179 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I’m so excited because our back deck is almost complete and I love just looking at it and thinking about the fun we’ll have out there. That’s a good feeling isn’t it? To love where you live and look forward to just enjoying time there? Are you making sure your home is a place you get excited coming home to? I hope so!
We have been working for the last year on making our home exactly the way we want it. I think a lot of people have been doing that, especially since COVID because we have been staying home more than usual, I know Eric and I have. We normally travel way more than we have over the last 2 years. It’s been alright though because it has helped us focus on doing the things around our house that we really wanted to do, but never stayed put long enough to do it. There were things that were bothering me but I was never conscious enough about them to change it
What made me think about this topic though, is this last week I woke up and I pulled my brush out of the drawer to brush my hair and it all of a sudden hit my conscious brain that the handle on my brush has been broken for about 2-3 months now. By broken, I mean the handle is completely gone, it’s just the brush part left and I’ve been using that. Let me start by saying…I can afford to buy a new brush…:). It just hadn’t hit my conscious mind that it’s been bothering me.
Whenever things like this happen, it makes me wonder what else I’m allowing to subconsciously bother me without my conscious mind being aware.
So I did a little inventory: Here’s what I found, and this was just a quick look around, not even a deep dive but they were subconsciously bothering me.
I had a few things that were worn out that I still kept simply because it never hit my conscious brain that I can change it. I revamped my underwear and bra drawers this last week, throwing away and buying new. I think sometimes we let those things go because we get comfortable and just don’t think about updating that stuff. But that stuff affects us and it affects how we show up and present our self, even though nobody sees it but you and your partner.
There was also this jumper that I hung maybe 2 weeks ago on my robe hook in the bathroom and I saw it but it never hit my conscious brain to move it to the closet. I probably saw that there 20 times without doing anything about it. It took 5 seconds to fix it. Literally.
I had a stack of books next to my side of the bed. Some I have read, some I have not. I saw them but never consciously put them on my bookshelf. Same with a few things I had stacked on my bedside table. Why were they even there? How long had they been there? What do I expect that I’m going to do with them?
Oh and then I realized that I had washed my favorite robe and it was hanging downstairs in the laundry room. It had been there for over a week. Several times in my mind I thought I wish I had my favorite robe to put on, but it never occurred to me to just go downstairs and get it. Why not? Because in some areas I’m still living in my subconscious mind, on autopilot. So when I looked around the house, there wasn’t a lot though because I try to do this regularly.
And that’s all it takes is a quick walk through the house with an awareness that you’re looking for things your subconscious sees but your conscious mind does not.
But autopilot is not just limited to things. Living on autopilot affects your relationships as well. One sign is you let other people’s expectations define your life and your choices without really giving thought to what you need.
I have become aware that I sometimes agree to do things that I do not want to do and it doesn’t really serve me to do it, but I don’t want to disappoint the other person so I do it anyway. It bothers me but I never really was aware of it until I did this inventory. This takes up a lot of space in our heads, and can even grow resentment. Your relationship with a person might even be better because you set and hold boundaries.
We can also be walking around frustrated, not even realizing it which can make us irritable and grumpy.
I noticed I was feeling frustrated that some of the projects were taking longer around the house than I felt necessary. After going over the reasons for the delays, I recognized everyone is doing the best that they can and it is completely out of our control so the frustration I was feeling was only adding to my anxiety and was not helping the situation or changing it at all. The only thing it was doing was causing me discomfort. So I actively released that frustration and trust that it is working out as it should.
You can tell if you live most of your life on autopilot if you have stopped challenging yourself. Maybe you feel bored with life and every day feels the same, kind of like the movie groundhog day! We think we want to be comfortable and our autopilot brain encourages that, but joy and inspiration and aliveness come with a certain degree of discomfort. How often are you putting yourself in situations that challenge you? Growing up it seems like it was every day but as we get older we stop doing it automatically, it becomes something we have to intentionally do.
And it really doesn’t take much to get headed in the right direction. You can start by doing what I did this week. Just walk through your house and SEE. Really see what your subconscious sees that bugs you and take immediate action to fix it. Like my husband ordered a new brush and it got here yesterday, so now that won’t be bugging me anymore. I moved my robe upstairs to my bathroom and I hung the jumper in my closet instead of leaving it on the robe hook. Literally these things took under 5 minutes and freed my brain from these nagging thoughts. It really is that easy. The awareness of your thoughts around other people is a little harder, but also very doable.
When I am put in a situation where I want to say no, I have learned to just say no. I don’t even have to give a reason. We do not have to have a reason, we don’t have to explain anything. If I find myself feeling frustrated about a person or a situation, I take a moment and ask myself why. Is it my issue? What role am I playing in it? Am I putting the needs and expectations of others before my own? Are my expectations reasonable? Is the frustration with myself for some reason? Is the frustration telling me I need to do something? Self awareness and the ability to recognize when you’re creating problems unnecessarily for yourself.
Living a life of intention and joy takes awareness and a little discomfort. My challenge to you this week is to simply walk around one room, the one you spend the most time in and really see the space as your subconscious sees it. Take immediate action to fix anything that is subconsciously bothering you, it probably will take less than 5 minutes. I fixed 3 things in under 5 minutes! Also, as a bonus, figure out what you can add to your daily or weekly schedule that will take you out of your comfort zone…That’s a sure way to force yourself off autopilot! And Autopilot is ok for your regular routines because it makes you more efficient but life is so much more fulfilling and fun when we aren’t living there. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days!
