Subtle thoughts. Sneaky thoughts that go unnoticed but do real damage.
Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 173 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Thank you guys so much for sharing this podcast with your friends! It means so much to me.
I’ve been open about my family and how I’m having to do some work on my mindset around that.
Sometimes I think avoiding it all together because that’s what’s good for my mindset but avoiding causes mindset issues of its own because I’m pushing feelings down that should probably be felt and released.
So it’s been a while, maybe a month since I’ve talked to my mom and dad. They are both in their 70’s.
My mom honestly has never been anything but lovely to me. My dad for the most part too. But somehow I feel uneasy about calling them because I am not sure if they want to hear from me. But then I think when I do talk to my mom it’s usual because she has called me. Deep down if I’m being honest I associate them with my sister that shunned us for not being part of their religion.
My thoughts of worrying they will do the same or maybe I blame them a bit for allowing her to do that and they just act like it’s ok. Now I will say with her, she stated the way she felt and her intentions so there’s no guessing there. She doesn’t want to be part of our life and I have no control of that. So I don’t even bother to clean that up. It’s a decision out of my control and therefore I’m fine moving on from it. But my parents are different. I avoid them sometimes due to my thoughts of “they have my 2 sisters and their kids so they don’t care if I’m around at all. But is that true? My mom reaches out to me way more than I reach out to her. Because of my thoughts.
It’s my thoughts of what she might be thinking about me that keep me from connecting with her. So I recognized that and decided that’s unfair to her and to me so I called this morning and she didn’t answer. Quickly my brain was like oh she’s probably with my other sister and that’s why she wouldn’t answer but again I caught myself and laughed because I created this whole scenario in my head of my mom and dad and my other sister and her kids having breakfast and just having a good ole time and when she saw it was me calling she didn’t take it because she knew my sister wouldn’t approve.
This is all in my head. I created that whole thing. As soon as I realized what I was going I literally laughed to myself and was like what are you doing? You have no idea why she didn’t answer. Maybe her phones are silent and her and dad are enjoying coffee! Good for her. But guess what I made the call. I felt amazing about the decision to make the call and then I let it go. I came outside to meditate and just after I finished meditating and I was enjoying the gorgeous weather my mom called me back and of course she and dad were sitting outside enjoying the weather and coffee and her phone had been inside.
She put me on speaker phone with dad and her both and we had a wonderful 20 minute conversation. All because I recognized my thoughts were holding me back from connecting with my parents. They were so happy that I called. Genuinely happy. I imagine they probably have thoughts that I’m just too busy for them..who knows? But I have decided I will make that call whenever I feel the desire to, instead of letting my thoughts get in the way because they aren’t true.
Most of the time what you think someone is thinking is not what they are thinking.
I was listening to it. Abraham Hicks today and she always talks about everything about you. It is not someone’s perception of you that bothers you, it’s your perception of their perception. So basically it’s not what they think about you, it’s what you think about what they think about you that really matters.
Wayne Dyer would always say “what other people think of me is none of my business”. I’m so on board with that.
It doesn’t matter what other people think. The only thing that matters is what you think. If you think you’re awesome. You’re awesome and you will attract people in your life that are awesome too. If you think you’re a bad person, you live in constant guilt and shame of being a bad person and then you attract that from others too.
It is all about you. I posted a reel of my story a while ago and it was a therapist that said “you aren’t the lead role in anyone’s life but your own, so stop taking things personally.” My dad used to tell me to stop being so thin skinned. That was actually really good advice.
You really have no idea how people see you and when you try to guess what they think of you, you probably get it wrong most of the time, you know why? Because it’s the rare soul who has constant good thoughts about them self. Most of us best our self up pretty bad and so why would we think others would think any differently?
You don’t think you’re worthy? You’re going to attract and find things that confirm your unworthiness. You think the world is out to get you? You’re gonna find confirmation of that too.
Your thoughts, especially the subtle ones that sneak around in your head unnoticed? They matter, they matter so much.
When You recognize them, you can literally put them in their place by laughing at how ridiculous it is to think that thought. That’s what I did with my thoughts about my mom. I mean me having thoughts that my mom wouldn’t love a phone call from me, that’s ridiculous on its own but knowing how much she loves me makes it even more ridiculous. The only thing it was doing was making me feel bad and her too, all because of silly untrue thoughts that I was having…My life is better today because I was aware of some thoughts that were hurting me and yours can be too, I promise.
You want to know the state of your thoughts just look around at how your life is going. If you want it to improve, it all starts with you and those sneaky subtle thoughts. Start quieting your mind in some way, any way so you become aware of them. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
