Training our brain for happiness
First of all, It’s been a rough week in America. It’s been more rough for some Americans than others. But let me be clear…regardless of your skin color or your beliefs, I love you and I wish only the best for you. I send you all love and unity. We are better than what has happened this week.
This Wednesday we are starting our new Wednesday Wisdom series! I’m super excited! It’s the first in a series of interviews I’m doing with Wildly successful people from all over the world. We are getting an inside look into their day to day life and what makes them super successful so be sure to listen in on Wednesday!
So I traveled on an airplane for the first time since the COVID 19 breakout last week and I have to say, It didn’t feel that different. The airport was fairly quiet but we expected that. It wasn’t required to wear a mask in our airport but once we were on the airplane we had to wear it for the whole flight. So I do feel things are heading towards getting back to normal. At least here in the US.
It started me thinking about travel and how much I have missed it. We normally travel quite a bit and for sure have travel scheduled out for the year, but that all changed obviously this year. It got me thinking…I missed it but it didn’t stop me from enjoying life at home. OF being happy where I am. Of creating new ways to have fun or enjoy life. If my happiness hinged on travel, it would have been hard to be happy the last few months!
How often have you said to yourself “I’ll be happy when I lose 15 lbs or I’ll be happy when I’m on vacation. How about I’ll be happy when I move, get that new job, find a new partner. If your happiness is tied up in what the next step is or the next partner is….then It will often be elusive and if you get it, then it hinges on that thing you were waiting for.
The idea of my happiness hinging on what someone else does is a little scary don’t you think? Realistically your happiness being tied to anything but yourself and your thoughts is not a good idea at all.
Think about what we’ve all been going through the last few months. If our happiness was tied to other people and travel, or other social norms, we would have had a lot of trouble being happy!
As a young adult, when I was still trying to figure myself out and sort of reprogram some of the thoughts I had always had, I went to my very first Tony Robbins seminar. He said several times during that seminar that “Everything you need is within you now”. “Everything you need to be happy is within you now”. He asked us to say it to ourself also. Honestly, I said it. But because I was struggling to create a life that empowered me, I just didn’t believe it. I remember thinking “He doesn’t mean that.” In my mind, We all had to have certain other things to make us happy like a partner, money, friends. As I have gotten older and have done so much mindset work over the last 20 years, I now have come to realize what he means.
There are things in life that enhance your happiness. Close friends, loving family, travel, pets, beautiful sunshine. But if you really think about it, If you aren’t already happy with yourself and who you are then all of those things are temporary fixes. So what can we do to increase our happiness on our own? What can we do to make sure we are happy now? Happy BEFORE the other things? That way when we experience the travel, the friends, the sunshine, the pets it enhances our happiness rather than holding it hostage.
Your being happy makes everyone around you feel happier just by being around you. Have you ever known someone that you know that every time you’re with them it just feels like the sun shines a little brighter? How can you be that person? I don’t mean you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face, I mean truly and authentically happy from the inside out. I know people like that and I want to be around them. And listen, life happens so there are always going to be times we have to struggle but having an optimistic outlook and a genuinely happy disposition can make those times much easier.
Let me also say there are different personality types and some are just predisposed to be happier. What if you aren’t? Well you can reach for the closest feeling you can that can get you closer to happiness like maybe: Feeling Grateful, Calm, peaceful, hopeful, These can all be a bridge to happiness, if happiness feels a little far off.
I talk about this a lot I know but we have to be so aware of what we are feeding our mind. We have to be aware of how much negativity we allow in. This comes in forms of TV, News, Social media, toxic relationships. So being very aware of what we let in is important and a good way not to cultivate negative emotions but…
How do we cultivate the positive emotions we want?
Just like training for physical strength, you have to train your mental strength as well.
Our brains are not made for happy thoughts, they are made for survival. We have to develop good habits to cultivate good emotions. Left to its own plan the brain will be drawn to drama, chaos and negativity. So how do we train for mental strength?
Well for sure we need to start our day by rewiring it for positivity by: Grateful journaling or just writing down 3 things we are grateful for. Also, quieting our mind for a few minutes per day through meditation. Finally allowing in good, positive information to counteract all the negative information we are dealing with right now. We do that through podcasts, or books, great conversations with friends, or just getting out in nature! Some of these things like Grateful journaling and meditation may seem hard at first just like working out but after you get into a habit, you become addicted! And that’s what I would call a good addiction! That’s An addiction that sets you up for success every single day! Ok guys I hope you enjoyed this episode! I love you all and will talk to you in a couple days!
