Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 494 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Nice to be with you. I hope your week is going well and your relationships are thriving because that’s what’s important right? The people we share our life with play a big role in our joy so we want to make sure we nurture those relationships.
I have this beautiful plant in the front window and I love it. It’s a bonsai tree that a dear friend gave me, it is so full and healthy and green. I have probably had it for about 4 years now. It’s in a spot that I walk by it 10 times a day maybe more. It’s thriving because I water it and I talk to it every day. If we go on vacation for 2 weeks which we do in January, when I come home, my poor little tree is usually shedding leaves and not doing nearly as well as when we are home. I don’t wonder why, I know why. It’s because I haven’t been there to water it and cater to it like I normally do. Now it would be very easy and I have done this before with plants where you get so busy you stop seeing them and every once in a while you remember to water it but most of the time you forget, it will hobble along looking sad for longer than if you never watered it but it isn’t going to thrive and eventually it will look so sad and dried up that you decide it’s time for it to go. Have you ever done that with a plant? I have but that bonsai is special and I cherish it not only because it’s beautiful but also because of who gave it to me, they mean a lot to me. When you cherish something, when you value something you nurture it no matter how long you’ve had it, it’s how we are.
But plants aren’t the only things in life that thrive when given loving attention. People also thrive when someone loves them and gives them attention. I know it’s true for me, who doesn’t want to be loved? When you cherish someone you give them attention, you nurture and water the relationship you notice if it’s drying up because you check in regularly.
It’s easy to grow apart with our busy lives. It’s easy to become complacent in our intimate relationships thinking oh they’re fine. It’s easy to think that just because we live in the same house and we eat dinner together and watch tv together that everything is just fine. But have you checked? Is it fine?
In Marianne Willismsons book “Return to Love” a couple is in a therapy session with Marianne, she is helping them amicably end their marriage because the husband is basically leaving his wife for another woman. During the session the wife yells at her husband “you’re just wanting to be with her because she tells you how wonderful you are”. He looks at her and quietly says “that may have something to do with it, yes”.
Our relationships cannot be neglected and thrive at the same time. Just like a plant. Relationships have to be nurtured and cared for.
I was talking to a friend this morning and he was saying that his wife called and said hey I forgot I have practice today and I also forgot that our youngest son has a dentist appointment could you take him at 4:30? That appointment was 30 minutes away. They have 4 children and he was already home with the kids and they were doing homework and they had to be at the ball field at 5:30 and he had to get them dinner before their games. There was just too much going on and when he got that text he was already at his threshold and he wanted to lash out, he said he got so mad but then he realized hey wait a minute we are on the same team if I lash out it’s going to make everything worse so he said I just sent a text and said “That’s just too much for us to take on tonight would you mind rescheduling the dentist appointment?” She responded back yeah you’re right, I’ll do that. In the height of tension being able to step back and be reasonable or at the very least just ask for what you want to happen in a respectful way and it will usually go much better. That’s how you nurture a relationship.
That husband and wife that were in therapy with Marianne, they ended up staying together because they both realized they had some growing to do and when they do that together the relationship thrives. They had stopped nurturing the relationship and it had run dry so it looked unsalvageable until they took the time and the effort to bring it back to thriving.
There’s something I want us all to remember and keep in the back of our minds at all times.
If you haven’t watered your plants don’t be surprised if they die. I’m not only talking about plants, but you already know that.
My challenge to you this week is even if things are stressful remember that you’re on the same team. Just like we nurture our plants if we want to keep them thriving, we have to nurture our relationships too. Share this with 3 people who you want to know they are special to you. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
