Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 377 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I hope this finds you healthy and happy and heading in the right direction, no matter where you are.
So how many of you have heard someone say “Well that’s just me.” That’s just how I am. Or I’m not dressing up that’s not me. When I hear that, I think but there are so many layers to you, and embracing those layers and expanding the way you view yourself allows for so much growth and so much fun and new experiences if you let it. Sometimes people identify with being one way and only one way but in my opinion…..they are really selling themselves short because they are so much more than one way. Every single one of us is multifaceted and embracing that allows you to be the best version of you in every scenario.
”. When Molly my baby sister was young just starting college she wanted to just be herself no matter where she was and sometimes she would say things in front of adults or our parents that wasn’t appropriate. Eric sat her down and she said that’s just me. I’m being myself and he explained that we all have varying versions of ourself and we wear different hats on different occasions. When Molly is around our parents the version of her that’s respectful and doesn’t use language that offends is the one that’s appropriate. Just like when she shows up for an interview. It’s not that she can’t be herself she just needs to dig into the version of herself that’s appropriate for the occasion. The thing about being yourself is you get to wear different hats, it’s not that you’re not being authentic when you put on a different hat or play a different role, you’re actually showing that you’re multifaceted. There are different versions of “you” that are authentic to the occasion. Authentic in a way that only you can do that supports you and creates the life you were meant to live.
If you were one way all the time, that would be a little shallow. There’s not a lot of depth to that. And let’s face it, it could cause problems. Like Molly when she was younger saying things that weren’t appropriate in front of her parents. It’s uncomfortable for everyone, including her even though at the time she wouldn’t admit it. Now she has since become a master at this, and it serves her very very well. She has certain roles when she is with surgeons in the operating room, a different role when she is with her husbands parents or her boss and a different role when she’s hanging with me, I laugh more with her than anyone else.
But we all have different versions of ourselves, Just like me. I have different versions of myself that are appropriate with my husband but wouldn’t be appropriate with another man who is maybe a friend or a client. It’s not that I’m not being authentic I’m just being the version of me that’s appropriate for the occasion or for the relationship. I recognize and value that being multifaceted protects me and serves me, it doesn’t mean I’m inauthentic.
The people that do the best in life know this very well.
One of my favorite words and has been my word of the year before is authenticity. I want things in my life to be authentic. I think most of us do.
So if you cringe when you hear me say that to be different in different settings is appropriate, thinking I am encouraging you to put on an act…it’s quite the opposite. The key is to show up as you, but being the best version of you for that occasion.
So let’s say you and your husband have children and you also work full time. So you’re a mom, a wife, a coworker, maybe a boss. There are so many different roles you get to play every single day. Where it gets tricky though is when you show up with your husband and you’re still in your coworker role. Or you show up with your kids and you’re still in your boss role. Or you show up with your coworkers and you’re still in your mom role. Not every version of you is appropriate for the occasion.
That is on a personal level. But what about the bigger picture?
Just because society is currently in an “anything goes” stage, it doesn’t mean we have to play along.
We all know there is appropriate dress and dress that isn’t appropriate. Right? When Kate Middleton got married she wore a beautiful wedding dress. It was very appropriate for the occasion. But if she showed up in a wedding dress to hang out at the beach, people would look at her like she’s lost her mind, more importantly though she would be very uncomfortable and awkward . She can do it but is it the best version of her for the occasion? No. I saw a picture of her recently that’s why I used her as an example. And that’s an obvious, extreme example but we know how we want to be and that’s the best version of us, you want to put your best foot forward and that not only includes dress but also how you show up.
And I think some of us have forgotten this. Well, not you and me…because we are always working to be the best versions of ourselves but we do see a lot of society today lacks standards of any kind and if we aren’t careful we could lower our standards without realizing it.
When you have a nagging feeling that the outfit you’re considering isn’t dressy enough, it probably isn’t. When you have a nagging feeling that what you’re about to say is not appropriate then it probably is best unsaid. This is not being inauthentic, it’s showing up as the best version of you.
We can be authentic and our best in every scenario, it just may look a little different. People want to say “ be you” and I totally agree but saying that you have to be one way all the time or your not authentic is self limiting. You are multifaceted for a reason.
That’s part of what makes you unique. No one can show up in any scenario like you. So you being you regardless of the role you’re playing or the hat you’re wearing is truly authentic and your ability to display the different versions of you without having to hold so tight to a certain way opens new doors.
The real question isn’t “is it ok to be yourself on any occasion, of course it’s ok to be yourself. The real question, the one that will come up with the best answer is “Who do I want to be in this scenario?” How do I want to show up? And how does the best version of me look for this occasion?
Those questions if you answer them honestly and carefully will never fail to show you a path to putting your best foot forward on every occasion, because you are multifaceted and deep down, you know how you want to show up, sometimes it may be a little more work than you want to put in but don’t you want to be part of those that raise the standards? I do. Because Our society is craving it.
My challenge to you today is to raise the standards by showing up as the very best version of yourself every single time in every single occasion. You are always gonna be you, no-one else can take your place or even come close. But be the version of YOU that that little nagging voice would be proud of. Not everyone will notice but the most important person around will and that’s YOU. I love you guys, Ill talk to you in a few days.