Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 146 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast!
So how’s the state of the Union? How are things going? Are you feeling good and making things happen? Are you having fun? Life is supposed to feel good and you should be having fun.
I’ve thought a lot about my perception of fun lately. I think I’ve talked about it but I have food allergies, in fact I am now a client of Dr Osborne who I interviewed in Episode 122 about food sensitivities. If you haven’t listened, it’s a good one. Anyway, I have since found out I am gluten sensitive and I’m also allergic to dairy and some other things…broccoli believe it or not, but we are on the path to getting super healthy because I was having some issues with my hands and such and now we know why. So. The reason why I went through all of that is because my idea of fun is having to shift. I have always sort of said that I am not a cook, I would say I don’t enjoy it. Well, with this change in my diet, it’s difficult to eat out and be super healthy in the way I want to be. We love to eat out and we do eat healthiness when we do but we don’t really know if we are eating organic, free range meats and vegetables or exactly what you are eating.
So, that’s going to have to change. I also have favorite meals at these restaurants and that’s going to have to change as well. We were headed to one of our favorite brunch places and I caught myself having the thought that I can’t eat anything good so I’m just not looking as forward to it as I used to. I also caught myself thinking, one of our great joys would be going away, if we just stopped eating out. Kind of feeling sorry for myself, but then I stopped and I thought. Yes, we enjoy eating out, and yes that is going to have to change quite a bit. And yes, my diet is changing drastically, but does that mean I can’t eat anything good anymore? Absolutely not, My idea of “good” just has to shift.
The thoughts I tell myself about what’s fun has to shift a little. If I go around with the thought that all our joy is being taken away, what good does that do for me? The result is still the same, we still won’t be going to restaurants as much and I still won’t be eating some of the yummy things I was eating before but with thoughts like I was having, of course I would feel like I’m missing out, like I’m not going to have as much fun as we once did, but that is just a thought and it’s one I can change and will. The old thought that because I have food allergies, so much of what I love and enjoy is having to go away has to change.
My new thought is I have food allergies AND I can still do everything I want to do. I have food allergies and it might be fun learning to cook for my friends and family. I have food allergies and I can still meet friends at restaurants for a drink.
While I’m on the topic of drinks, I was having a conversation with a friend recently and we were talking about alcohol. I always try to be as transparent as I can with you guys, so I like to drink. I enjoy it. I’m not a teetotaler and a lot of my mentors are. Maybe one day I will be too but for now, I like to have a drink with friends and I think that’s fun. But my friend was saying she wanted to cut back on her drinking but she was just having a hard time because she thought it’s no fun going out without having a drink. So we talked about it and I said the same thing I was talking about earlier.
Maybe her idea of fun just needed to shift a little bit. Why is it only fun when she drinks? Is that just a thought and she just really hasn’t tried going out once in a while and NOT having a drink? Maybe it’s just a habit. When my husband and I go out to restaurants, I usually will have a drink, really out of habit. I realized this because I had my niece who is over 15. We had a fun day doing zip lines and tree top adventures at Shelby Farms here locally. So much fun and later we went to a restaurant for dinner. We went to a restaurant near our home that we go to about once a week. I usually have a drink there, but it’s just me and her and I am not having a drink in that scenario. We still had just as much fun, and I didn’t miss having a drink at all. I can just shift the way I think about fun. I have the thought that I can not drink at a restaurant and still have fun, I just proved it. So it’s different and it will be a change for us but one that is for the good.
Change is the only constant in life. Our life is really a series of changes. What we make the changes mean has everything to do with the quality of our life. Sometimes the change is voluntary like what I’m doing with my nutrition and sometimes it’s involuntary like what the whole world had to deal with during COVID. The result is going to be the same, so why not think about it in a different way, a way that empowers you? We are supposed to be having fun in life, don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. We can have things change and still have fun along the way. We just have to decide up front that we will. Of course there will be times that aren’t fun, and there’s nothing we can do about it but we can always decide how we think about things, and a lot of times that starts with the words we use.
Think about the amount of time we say things like I can’t because or I have to do this thing. How much more empowering does it feel to say I choose to do this or I get to do this. For example, Maybe one of the changes you are experiencing is you are caring for an elderly parent and your thoughts are I can’t because I have to take mom to the Dr, maybe you could soften it by saying I get to take my mom to the Dr. My husband has lost both of his parents and he would give anything to be able to say “I have to take mom to the Dr.” When you look at it from a different perspective, it’s eye opening.
Life is what you make it, if Life is feeling hard to you right now, and I know it is for a lot of people. There are times when life can be hard and we don’t think we are going to make it, but always remember this too shall pass. You should always give yourself space to feel what you’re feeling, but if it isn’t serving you, don’t live there. Soften it with a thought that moves you forward towards empowerment. Making yourself a victim to your circumstances takes all your power. Yes, my diet is having to change drastically and Yes I have moments of feeling sorry for myself, but I’m not going to live there because it doesn’t serve me. And yes, I still don’t get to see my sister and her family over religion and it still makes me sad sometimes but I don’t live there either because it doesn’t serve me.
I choose to think about things that do serve me. I choose to think thoughts that empower me. It’s life changing.
Things are always working out in my favor and they are working out in your favor too. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. If you look at life through that lens you will always be looking for the good in every situation. Being super aware of my thoughts has been one of the biggest growth points of my life because I’m able to see the places where I’m causing my own grief.
Are there areas in your life where you are causing your own grief? Are there changes in your life you have no control over but you could think new thoughts that empower you?
My challenge to you this week is to become aware of the thoughts that aren’t serving you and we all have them, you may just not be aware of them, but take one of those thoughts and turn it around. Our thoughts create our reality and becoming aware of the ones that are causing us grief and turning them into something that makes us feel empowered is life changing. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
