Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 479 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I’m glad we get to hang out so much because you’re awesome, in case you haven’t heard that today, it’s true. We’re getting better every day you and me because we work on our mindset, which is the foundation of a beautiful life. So thanks for being here we make the world better by being better ourselves.
Ok, I’m a water girl. I love being on the water whether it’s a pool, the lake or the ocean. Being on the water is heaven to me. Have you ever been out on a boat on the water and you look down into the water and if the water is rough, it’s very difficult to clearly see your reflection, not clearly anyway it may be distorted. But when the water calms down completely you can easily see your reflection?
I read a quote this week by Hans Margolius “only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in the quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.”
It’s so true isn’t it? When our mind is chaotic with thoughts it’s very difficult to see the world clearly. We often create the problems we experience. I had a friend call me a couple days ago very upset because her niece who had just graduated was visiting and she was upset because she felt her niece didn’t care about her at all because she had brought a friend and they were spending more time together and in my friends mind not caring anything about her. After listening I just reminded her of how we were at 17 and how the only thing that matters at that age for a young girl are friends and boys. It’s universal and means nothing about her. She laughed and said I know you’re right I guess she’s just growing up and it’s so different now when she visits. My friend was taking a normal life situation and making it extra hard by making it mean she was no longer loved. When the only place it meant that was in her head. Her niece was visiting because she loves her very much, but the things her niece enjoys have changed which is perfectly normal. Life changes and we can make it all about us which makes it really hard or we can let it be exactly what it is…a different phase, a new chapter. Just about every day of our lives if you are living it to the fullest, there are going to be changes, people come and go. Friends move away and new friends move in. Our kids grow up, our coworkers change, our parents grow old, insert whatever change you’re going through right now and ask yourself “how am I handling this”? “What am I making it mean?” “Are my thoughts about it making me feel worse or better?” The weird thing about life that no one ever taught us is, not in regular school anyway is an age old idea written in a book written in 1902. It’s “As a man thinketh, so is he”. Wherever you allow your thoughts to go consistently is how your life is gonna be.
The more you control your mind the more control you have of your life. So that things that happen outside of you, outside circumstances may then have a less negative effect on you. Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us that “the ancestor of every action is a thought”. Now that can work for you and against you. Maybe you’ve done something that you regret and you can look back and pinpoint the very thought that had you been aware of it and disallowed that thought or corrected it, you wouldn’t have done that thing. But it works in your favor too. Maybe you had a thought that you can pinpoint was the exact moment that pushed you towards this really big accomplishment. It’s always the thoughts. Everything in our life hinges on the way we think.
That’s why thoughts are so powerful. One thought can take a really crummy situation and make it a million times worse or a million times better.
My friend can feel sad for what used to be and at the same time excited for what is to come. We can do both. In order to be happy humans we have to do both. It’s normal to miss the way things were but crucial to come up with the good about it too. Remember this..if you’re sad, you’re dwelling on the past, if you’re anxious you’re worried about the future both of which will rob you of the present. My friend’s niece is growing up, yes, but my friend being upset about that and making it mean something about her, robs her of the time she has with her niece. It can be a vicious cycle like my sweet neighbor who used to constantly complain about being lonely the entire time I would visit her which did not encourage me to want to spend more time with her because she was so negative. I was right there and all she would do was complain which made me realize that’s probably why her family visited less often. The world we live in is the world we create.
We distort our world with chaotic thoughts. When we stop for a minute and consider how we are thinking about anything…we realize that we’re creating everything.
If our mind is chaotic the world is distorted, it’s only when we quiet our minds that our perception of the world becomes clear.
Once my friend stopped and remembered that she was once 17 too she realized her perception was distorted. Once she stopped allowing her chaotic thoughts to create a world where she wasn’t loved it was very clear she was loved, just circumstances change and how we deal with it is how we fair.
That’s for everyone with everything.
As a man thinketh, so is he.
As I think, so am I.
As you think, so are you.
My challenge to you today is to notice a thought you’re having that may be creating a distorted view. Your first thought may be but what I’m going through is real, I’m not creating it. To that I say, Ok, fine. It is what it is, now what? Are you going to think a thought that makes you feel bad or are you going to think a thought that makes you feel hopeful or happy or at peace? That’s the choice you have every single day regardless of what is. You get to create what comes next.
Share this with 3 people who you want to feel loved. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
