Stop hanging on to things that are hurting you

Episode 518
Wildly Successful Lifestyle

LISTEN TO: Stop hanging on to things that are hurting you

Hi guys!  Welcome to Episode 518 of The Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast!  Welcome back all of you guys…I know there are so many podcasts and other things you could be listening to right now and I am very honored that you chose this one.  I love you guys for that I hope you know.  I read something cool the other day, it said “Things may happen around you, things may happen to you but the things that really matter are the things that happen within you and through you.  It’s so true.  We all have hard things that we deal with.  We all have ups and downs.  But the key is to know, just know that everything is going to be ok and that things are always working in your favor.  As long as you know that and you keep that truth in your mind no matter what you’re dealing with, something good can come from it, it doesn’t mean its good whats happening but something good CAN come from it.  OK…

I went and visited a dear friend of mine recently. She started as a client and we became instant friends years ago even though she’s much older than me we both had a love of beautiful things, growth, self improvement and curiosity about life. A few years ago we totally redid her home and it was gorgeous.  She taught me a lot, the main thing being, that I can work with people who love color even though I am more of an earthy, neutral kind of girl.  Any way when she called she said to my great surprise that she was ready  to just redo everything.  I couldn’t believe it because it hasn’t been that long.  I said ok…I’m gonna come see you.  So I go visit and as I knew it would her home still looked beautiful but there was a definite change since I had been there before and I felt that I knew exactly what was going on. So as we were catching up I asked so what is it that you want to change?  She said I feel like it’s heavy and I want it to be light.  As we talked I asked her about several different pieces and she said oh no I still love that, she said that to just about everything which led me to believe I was right about what needed to be changed. She still loved so much of it which is why she could not put her finger on the problem of what was weighing it down. Ultimately after talking for a while we both realized she didn’t need to ADD anything really, we could change the sofa easily and we could change a fabric on her banquette but what she really needed was, She needed to remove.   She and her husband are like Eric and me. We read a lot so there were LOTS of books stacked around. She also had recently sold her vacation home and had brought plants in to this home that did not do well in the move.  So those plants once served her but they no longer did.  So I delicately mentioned the books and the plants to which she said “oh I knew you were going to say that”. That’s exactly what my husband said.  She was simply hanging on to so many things and it was weighing her down completely. It did feel like it was heavy in there but it was so easily remedied. 

Ultimately we decided we are going to remove her drapes altogether. She never closes them, so they are extra weight we don’t need or want.  And look they were custom and expensive but the cost to her now is even more because it’s weighing on her. The plants that reminded her of her vacation home were almost dead and did the opposite of being her joy, they actually were making her sad. Feng Shui taught me that dead plants block positive energy because they represent decay and stagnation which very negatively influences the energy in your home.  The books she was keeping in case she wanted to read them again were completely overwhelming her space making it feel disorganized and yeah, heavy.  Books which are actually a beautiful way to expand your mind can do the opposite if they are stuffed every where, they were actually closing my friend in instead of expanding her mind.  

We do this in our day to day life too, don’t we?  We hang onto arguments and grudges. We hang onto things people have said or did to us that hurt especially if it reinforced a negative thought we already had about ourself.  We do this sometimes without thinking about it and then wonder why we have a shopping problem or an eating problem or a drinking problem. We think we need to add to feel better when what sometimes what we really need to do is let go of.  So much of our consuming is trying to fill a hole created by the thoughts we can’t let go of.  The thoughts about our weight, our wrinkles, our hair, the fight we had with our sister, the things mom said to us 30 years ago. You know those things that hurt that you carry around and you won’t let go of, Their causing you more problems than you think.  Adding alcohol or sugar or dopamine either makes them worse or kicks the can down the road.  

I’ve noticed a pattern for me if Im feeling stressed or upset, I will often want to eat something sweet. But then I end up feeling lethargic and chunky which makes everything worse.  I don’t need to add anything, I need to let go of the idea that there’s something wrong with feeling stressed now and then.  That’s human.  Or maybe I need to let go of the idea that my body and skin at 50 can’t still be beautiful.  I know it can be because when I go sailing every year, the friends we go with are older then me, some by 10 or so years and I think they are still so beautiful, and their skin looks amazing, so am I being hard on myself?  Yes, and that’s something I need to let go of. 

My challenge to you today is to think of something you need to let go of that is maybe causing you problems in other areas.  Maybe it’s dead plants in your house or stacked magazines and books or other clutter.  Or maybe it’s a long held belief about yourself that you’ve dragged around for long enough.  It’s weighing you down so why not let it go.  Share this with 3 beautiful friends, I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!

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