Hi guys! Welcome to episode 292 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening and also for sharing. It’s so helpful and inspiring when someone shares something with me that touched them or helped them in some way, I think when you’re inspired to share a positive thought with someone it’s because they need it. We all do.
I many times share my personal experiences because I believe we are all similar in a way and we can learn from each other. It’s helpful to hear positive things but when it’s wrapped in a story of how it actually worked for someone else, it shows us what’s possible for us too.
Life is a series of happy times and also not so happy times. It’s that way for everyone. We all have both if we allow it. I say if we allow it because sometimes something happens and we let it suck us into a hole that we just cannot seem to climb out. If you’re stuck in a hole, don’t give up. It’s ok to be sad, life can sometimes feel very unfair. Life can sometimes seem almost unbearable, I know.
Ive talked about it the last couple of episodes but I have been spending a lot of time with my older sister, Heather, because her husband of 32 years suddenly died of a heart attack this last week. It was so sad for many reasons, for one we loved Steve very much, but for another he took very very good care of my sister. You see she had a stroke at the age of 35 and he has taken such wonderful care of her, she has come a long way and does pretty well, but she isn’t able to work so this is a really tough situation for her and of course for our family as well. Sometimes in life we feel like it’s too hard to go on, but those are temporary moments if we let them be. So often it feels like the pain and the sadness will never end and we will never be happy again. We want it to just go away, we don’t like feeling that much pain, but feeling it is the only way through it. It is energy that has to go somewhere. Think of your pain like a cork in the ocean if you keep grabbing that cork and try to suppress it, if you try to keep pushing that cork below the water its going to keep popping up wherever it can and the further you try to suppress it the faster it will pop up but if you just let the cork do what it will do at the surface, just let if naturally flow, eventually it will float away. It will naturally come to the surface and then float away. The energy we use to try to not feel an emotion actually gives that emotion fuel. Things happen in life that cause us pain AND that pain will ease with time. One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is never forget that NOW is not forever. You will be ok. Yes it hurts AND you will be ok.
I was sitting early in the morning with my sister and she was just saying how bad it hurts. I told her it’s going to hurt, AND you’re also going to be ok. You see when we are in the midst of a painful situation, it’s human tendency to think the pain will never go away because it feels that way. Emotions can feel that way, like they are going to be there forever, but now is not forever. Nothing is forever right? None of us are forever.
Life is completely unpredictable. We believe that someone will be around forever. And when they aren’t it’s shocking for us. But understanding that life is unpredictable. Any one of us could be gone in an instant. That’s hard for us to think about, I know. But knowing that helps us embrace each moment and embrace those that we love as much as we can. Enjoy each moment because now is not forever and that applies to both good moments and bad moments. This too shall pass.
During the days after my brother in law died, Our entire family was together and Steves family came as well. I watched as my sister had moments of intense sadness and also moments of a bit of happiness. We sat together in the morning and had coffee and cried because he wasn’t there with us and later that day we got outside in the sunshine and played baseball with my nephew and my mom, we laughed because Heather has always been so athletic and even through her stroke and her grief she still throws a better pitch then I ever will. She hurts AND she is going to be ok.
This reminded me of the old donkey who fell into a deep abandoned well. His owner tried and tried to get him out but couldn’t so he decided to just go ahead and bury him, so he started shoveling dirt into the hole, at first the donkey panicked and was scared but then he started shaking the dirt off his back as it was coming in and he noticed when he did that, the ground got higher, so as the farmer kept shoveling dirt in, the donkey kept shaking it off, eventually the ground was high enough for him to be able to get out of the hole. That story could have ended one of two ways. The donkey could have laid down and accepted defeat and been buried or he could use the very thing trying to bury him to work his way out of the hole. The choice was completely up to the donkey whether he was going to let circumstances defeat him or he would rise above his circumstances even though things seemed impossible.
My sister has that choice, I have had that choice in the past, you have had that choice, you may be trying to make that choice right now. BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT. No one can do it for you.
My challenge to you this week is to remind yourself. Whatever you are going through, you can get on the other side of it, You can’t push away the feelings, you’re only giving them fuel. Allow yourself to feel the pain but keep the thought always in the back of your mind “This hurts AND I’m gonna be OK” I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.