Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 441 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! What’s goin on? Are you out there living, having fun, THRIVING? You’re supposed to be doing all of those. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you stop having fun. I don’t know why we think that. We should be having just as much fun as the kids. I mean it. So if you haven’t done anything fun today, I don’t care what day it is, don’t let that head hit the pillow until you do something fun today. You’re welcome.
Alright, Have you ever seen someone who has a vintage car but it looks new? How about someone who is always extremely well dressed but their clothes aren’t necessarily new or maybe a couple has been in a relationship for 30 years but they still seem like newlyweds? What are they doing differently than the people that are always buying new cars or always buying new clothes or always in a new relationship?
I remember wanting a new car, thinking how nice it would be to have that perfect new car. Then I got my new car. I thought ahhhh this is so cool. The new leather, the new car smell, the new way it looks driving down the street, the way I feel driving it, the way I look getting in and out of it. It’s so nice and satisfying. But 3 months into it, the newness has worn off and it’s just like every other car except now I have the payment and I had that payment for the next 5 years for a car I had grown used to. But I value that experience and I keep that experience in my mind because as soon as I start thinking a new car will be just the thing to make me happy I remember that mine runs just fine, still looks really good and I can love this one just as much as I can love a new one. And this one is paid for. It’s what my husbands best friend, John calls a p-4 car edition. Which basically just means it’s paid for. If you ask me, that’s the kind edition of any car I want. A p-4. And look I love my car just as much as the day I bought it. Because it still feels new to me. Why? Well this I learned from my husband. He told me about a friend he had in Alaska that said the key to not wanting to always go buy a new car is to get your car detailed just like a car dealer would. Keep it clean and keep it maintenanced. And get it detailed twice a year. It works. I kept my foreunner for 10 years that way, my little sister then drove it and now my niece drives it. I have had my current car which is a Range Rover for 9 years. And I just got it detailed and I love it as much today as the day I bought it. We tend to think we need something new when often times we simply need to clean up what we already have. Is there something in your life that you’re wanting to replace but maybe it just needs a clean up? Maybe it needs a little extra attention? Some much needed maintenance?
Newness can be a drug just like any other drug. And just like any other drug once the high wears off you need another hit. It’s never enough.
I was standing in my closet just the other day after cleaning it out and also after having been shopping a few weeks prior I thought I don’t have a thing to wear, I need to go shopping again! I stood there and realized that no matter how many times in the past I have bought new clothes, I’m left wanting. I remember thinking to myself it’s never enough. Which means it’s an internal thing, not an external thing.
I don’t know about you but shopping is a hobby for me. If I’m being honest it’s one of my favorite things to do. I shop for a living with Interior Design. I love love love it. But I also realized that at one point, I was shopping for clothes because I wasn’t happy with how my body looked so I thought a new outfit would make me happy. And then 1 day after wearing my new outfit I realized I needed another new outfit to make me feel good again. When your trying to get your happiness or your feel good feelings from things outside of yourself it will never be enough. It’s like pouring water in a pot with a hole in it, it will never be enough.
Now I’m not saying I’m not going to shop, it’s just recognizing that needing a new outfit to make myself feel good about the way I look is going to be never ending. Shopping is not the problem. I still love to go shopping. The problem comes if I am relying on a new outfit to make me feel good about myself, if I’m relying on new clothes to make me happy, if I’m relying on anything external to make me happy . True happiness and joy is an internal thing not an external thing.
Happiness from external things has a shelf life. Happiness internally never expires. That’s the kind I want.
Now sometimes you do need a new car, and sometimes you do need new clothes and sometimes you are in the wrong relationship. That’s life. It’s ok to want more. But realizing that newness is like any other drug, if the newness is what you’re chasing to feel good, it’s never gonna be enough.
The people who have a vintage car that looks new or always look amazing even though their clothes aren’t new or even have an amazing relationship after many years together have two things in common. 1. They want what they already have and number 2. They take incredible care of what they already have. They maintenance it, they nurture it, they give a lot of attention to it.
My challenge to you this week is this. Take a look at your desire for newness in any area of your life. Is it a common occurrence? A constant desire for newness is a vicious cycle because once the newness wears off you’re left needing more. It’s never enough. Relying on external things to make us feel good is short lived and keeps us always wanting more. True internal happiness never expires. Share this with three people you would love to see truly happy. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
