Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 472 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I really do feel like we are old friends and I love getting to be with you like this even if it’s just a few minutes a couple times a week. Thanks for allowing yourself to be one of the people who, like me now recognizes that we control more about our life than we were ever taught. Together we are making sure that we don’t make our life any harder than it has to be and most of that starts and ends in our own head.
I read this week that a majority of our life is experienced in our own head through our imagination and our perspectives. When I read that I thought wow that’s really true because what we make things mean basically depicts how happy or mad we are at any given time. A big part of that is that we are not alone on an island, we actually live with other people sharing our space at any given time, so not only are we affecting ourselves by the things we think and do, often we are affecting others too. Now I don’t say that because I mean it’s someone else’s fault if we’re having a bad day because it is not. I control me and you control you. And you and me, you being someone who is with me each week during these episodes, you know that other people can’t affect you unless you let them. But not everyone is aware of that. And even though we are aware of that, not all the time do we apply it either, sometimes we allow ourselves to to be very affected by other people too, of course we do we’re human, but I hope that just like me, you are becoming more and more aware when you do allow someone to ruin your day or even a moment, I hope you catch it and you “fix it on your end” like I like to say.
The thing I’ve noticed that trips me up the most is a lack of communication. So have you ever had someone tell you they were going to call you about this thing that is really important to you and then crickets they didn’t call? Maybe you’re waiting on pins and needles for a call back from a dr about a diagnosis or maybe you’re waiting for a call back from a guy you went on a first date with, or maybe you are waiting to hear back about a job interview….what ever it is but the call doesn’t come when they said it would? What do you do when that happens? Do you just automatically give them the benefit of the doubt and just calmly assume they will call when they are available? That is what my husband does, so maybe some of you do too…what I do is I start creating things in my head. All the worst case scenarios start being rolled around in my head! This is something I actively have to work on.
Just this week, we have a really big project going on and we are working with a new cabinet company that we haven’t used before but the communication is very slow coming from them and even though we know they are reputable and we feel like it is going to be an amazing experience, we don’t know for sure because we haven’t used them yet. So when they say they will be measuring at the end of one month and we are a week into the next month with no communication whatsoever even when we have tried to call, my brain starts with the worst case scenarios. But I caught myself and like I said in Episode 471 I just let it go because I have done everything I can and it is out of my control laying in bed at 10 at night nothing is gonna be fixed. So letting go and letting God is very helpful, now you have to make sure you are keeping up your end of the deal too, which I had, so I let it go and I know that it is all working in my favor even though I still haven’t heard back yet from the cabinet company, I know they’ve given us a date and it will be fine.
But my point to you guys is twofold. Yes, I have to take care of it on my end. I have to control my thoughts and my engaging in worst case scenarios, but it also helps me remember for when the shoe is on the other foot, when you are supposed to communicate even if what you have to say is not what someone wants to hear, it’s better to communicate than not because human nature is to create scenarios in our head, and often they aren’t good. It’s way better to keep a line of communication open. I can handle anything as long as I’m aware of it. And so can you. But we don’t want people to leave us in the dark, so let’s not leave them in the dark either. But if we are left in the dark, we have to be sure that once we have kept up our end of the deal, we have to manage our mind, w have to fix it on our end so that we don’t make ourselves crazy with worst case scenarios. Communication will fix most things…
I venture so far as to say good communication is second only to our own mindset in the quality of our lives.
Tony Robbins says “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives”.
Gerald Ford said “Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively”.
And I will end the quotes with this one “Communication is the solvent of all problems and is the foundation for personal development” Peter Shepherd said that and I couldn’t agree more.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times “Communication is key to keeping clients happy even if they don’t love what we have to say”, it’s also the key to a happy marriage, good relationships with your coworkers, friends, family, you name it. You see, Most of us can deal with anything as long as we know what’s coming. It’s the creating of worst case scenarios when no communication is had that causes us the most pain. Think about the worst worries or fears you’ve had, just think about them, most of them never came to fruition, if you’re really honest they haven’t. it’s said that 95% of your worst fears never come to fruition so that idea that a majority of our life is experienced in our head is why some people are miserable, they don’t know how to get out of their head.
That’s why I work daily on getting out of my own head, because I want to experience life in an intentionally created way, not in the way my mind on auto pilot would have it. But I also want my relationships with anyone I am dealing with to be really good and so that means communication on my part needs to also be intentional. It also means I have to make sure that if I don’t get the communication from someone I was hoping for, I need to fix it on my end and not go straight to “worst case scenarios”. Giving a reasonable amount of time for a response is fair, you never know what people are going through so giving them grace is part of that “fixing it on my end” thing. Your life will be so much better for doing it.
That’s my challenge to you this week is to communicate as you wish you were communicated with and if that isn’t reciprocated, then manage your mind about it or in other words “fix it on your end”. Share this with 2 of the people you talk to the most! I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
