Hi guys! Welcome to the 82nd episode of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast!
I ran a poll on instagram stories… If you want to follow me on Instagram its @theheididawson, anyway, I ran a poll on my stories on what topics people would like to hear….. and one of the responses was “How to stay centered and self aware all day and maybe throw in some self grounding techniques”
So I started thinking about that and I wondered “When am I the most centered and self aware? And how would one go about staying that way all day?
One of the first things I thought of is knowing yourself. Do you know what makes you feel grounded? DO you know what being centered feels like? Or how Self aware look for you? Oftentimes being able to find clarity on these things is very helpful. I will give you an example of how they look to me.
I was on a podcast this last week and we were talking about finding time to listen to other podcasts and Krissy Chin the host of Badass is the New Black podcast said she likes to listen to any podcast at 1.5 or 2 times the original speed. I laughed because that just doesn’t surprise me at all. She is one of those people that drives hard all day, she is a go-getter and she is just really killing it. Funny story, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Brooke Castillo and I just could not understand why this person was so annoying that she was interviewing…she was talking too fast and Brooke was matching her. I was about to turn it off when I realized “wait something is off’’ , I mean Brooke didn’t just all of a sudden become fast talking and annoying….I looked down and I had accidentally increased the speed by 1.5 and let me tell you, I did not like that. (Honestly, I didn’t even know that was a thing until I stumbled upon it accidentally right then. But it is a thing and if you are like Krissy, you may like to try that. I however felt like my brain was literally being attacked. SO see. Where Krissy loves the faster pace, I like the audio at its original pace. Now as we were talking about that, For a second my brain tried to throw in some thoughts that weren’t great. Things like….Why can’t I do that, I should be doing that. She must have a quicker mind than mine….but because I am self aware and I now know that my brain will try to pick me apart if left to its own devices, I changed my thought pattern to “I love that about her”. My style of listening is different, not better, not worse. Just different. You see, I would call that being self aware, where I notice thoughts popping up that weren’t serving me and quickly turning them into thoughts that served me. Do you catch yourself having negative thoughts about yourself or others? Can you turn that around quickly?
Also, what does centered or grounded feel like? Let’s start by looking at what these words mean…the actual definition in this context would be emotionally stable and secure and well balanced and sensible. These two go hand in hand to me So, when do I feel the most emotionally stable and well balanced? If I’m being honest, it’s When life is going well and things just seem to jive whether it’s with my relationships or a design project is falling into place or my podcast hits one out of the ballpark…. But these are external things and we don’t want to solely rely on external things to feel centered. What happens then if things aren’t going well…. you’re in trouble because you have relied on only external things to feel centered. So how do we find a way to get ourselves into a centered place without relying on those things? The best way I know of is to really KNOW that where you are right now is exactly where you are supposed to be. No-one has it all figured out, regardless of what it looks like. You aren’t alone in your thoughts. I think you’d be surprised at how not alone you actually are. It also means realizing that life is happening for you instead of to you. It means meeting yourself where you are right now and accepting what is. And realize things are not always going to be easy and there are going to be hard times, difficult times and that is part of being human….but guess what? After the night the sun always comes up, after winter comes spring with all its beauty. After your hard times, you’ll appreciate the good times even more. Remember, we get to tell our brain what to think, we don’t have to just accept whatever it throws out because if you remember from an earlier podcast…we have on average, 60,000 thoughts per day, 80% of them being negative. Our thoughts sabotage us more than we think. So being aware of them is crucial to staying centered, self aware and grounded.
Now, I’m going to add this in because as a designer I know how our environment affects our psyche. The other day, I was working on brainstorming ideas for my podcast and my brain felt distracted like something was off. I realized that I had eaten a power crunch bar and the wrapper and some crumbs were sitting next to my laptop and it was bothering me and I didn’t realize it, as soon as I cleaned it up my creativity increased and I was able to focus. Now, roll your eyes if you want and I understand if you do….but research has shown if you are sitting in a cluttered space or your office is a mess, your brain isn’t going to be able to focus as well. It may be subtle but is your environment (that you control, by the way) helping you be centered, self aware and grounded? Another thing that research has shown is that driving hard all day without taking scheduled breaks affects your ability to focus. Often we think that there is a badge of honor in working the longest or not taking breaks, but studies have shown that taking a 10-15 minute break every 60-90 minutes where you get up, move around, and drink water actually increases our productivity. It does this because we allow our minds to chill and when our minds chill is when we come up with solutions… I often pause my meditation to write a note down because I thought of something brilliant….ok brilliant may be a stretch but I do some of my best thinking when I’m focusing on nothing.
So to answer the self-grounding tips, I would suggest figuring out a way to take breaks to keep your focus at its best, also don’t just burn all day long without being thoughtful. Every time you start a new task or a new meeting, that’s a fresh start so treat it as one….tell yourself how you’re going to show up with this new task. So if you’re getting in the car? Decide how you’re going to drive, what you’re going to listen to, if you’re walking into work, decide how you’re going to show up today, and when you are starting a new meeting decide what is the best way for you to serve those that you are meeting with. Also, to help you remain self aware…..Try to come up with a trigger that reminds you to ask “Am I being present right now? Or are my thoughts serving me? There are apps that help you be mindful….the calm app is my favorite, you could also set an alarm on your phone or maybe use some other trigger like your coffee cup or your water bottle, each time you take a drink ask yourself these questions. I’ll tell you a story showing what I think is a great use of triggers. My husband and I were at dinner the other night and it was one of our favorite places..quiet, great food, good lighting…did I mention quiet??? Anyway you know I’m setting the scene for you so Eric and I are enjoying our wonderful dinner with a glass of wine and the hostess seats a couple across from us which is fine you still have your own little booth but the lady from the moment she sat down kept getting those loud dings on her phone, the loud text dings…by the third one which happened very fast, I’m getting a bit annoyed. My husband says “Don’t let it irritate you remember we are working on our equanimity and I was like you’re right, Ok let’s make a game of it. Every time the phone dings we say I love you. It got comical, because 10-12 times later and some were right in a row we were laughing and really kind of enjoying it, now they had no idea but it turned what could have been a dinner ruining moment into a fun one ally by changing the meaning of that loud ding…..It’s all about living intentionally and realizing that you control more about your life than you think you do.
Where you are right now is a product of your actions prior to today. What you do today decides where you are tomorrow. Every single day you wake up is a new day. Every single day you wake up you get to decide who you are going to be today. Just thinking this way helps me feel centered. I don’t know if you have started a morning journal yet, but when I write in my journal every morning that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and things are always working out in my favor. My brain sort of analyzes where I am right now and is thankful for that but it also analyzes anything that maybe hasn’t gone my way and it makes me think about what good is coming from that.
My challenge to you is to try these suggestions for a week and see if it helps you become more centered, self aware and grounded…. I love you guys and will talk to you in a few days!
