Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 451 of the wildly successful Lifestyle podcast! What’s going on?? Im happy you’re here. It’s always fun to hang with likeminded people. And if you’re here, we probably have at least one thing in common…we want to thrive! That’s what this podcast is all about. How to thrive in a world where surviving seems to be the theme. So, Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and also share an episode, if you love it, odds are your friend will too! And as always thank you from the bottom of my heart….
Ok, My little niece is graduating high school next year she is a great cheerleader in her high school and she has hopes to cheer in college. An SEC college to be specific. But it’s not an easy place to get into. Well I was talking with one of the girls at the gym, actually one of the trainers about her wanting to cheer for this certain school and she said oh! I graduated from there, so we chatted about that a little and then she said I may have a connection for her, my friends daughter is actually a cheerleader there right now and she might be a good connection for your niece and I said ok I will let you know if we want to take you up on that. So ultimately I told her I would love for her to connect her friend’s daughter with my niece and I left it at that. So the other day I was going to do a class that I had never done before and I saw that the trainer who was teaching it was the one I had been talking to about my niece. I noticed my thoughts were oh I’m not going to do that class because she will think I’m stalking in hopes of making a connection for my niece. Sometimes some of the things I confess to you guys on this podcast are a little embarrassing but I do it because I want everyone to know it’s perfectly normal to have thoughts about things. And sometimes we create things that are just not true at all and a lot of times we take action based on thoughts that are not accurate. So I noticed I was not going to take a class based on a thought I had in my head that was absolutely ridiculous. You better believe I still did the class and we said hello and chatted a bit like we always do and it was great. To think I almost didn’t do it over a silly made up thought. Our thoughts are ultimately the reason we do anything. Never forget that. That’s why it is SOOOOO important that you’re aware of every thought you have.
Before I became aware that I could change my own world by changing the way I thought about things I would often be very dramatic in my head when something was going on. So if Eric and I would disagree I would blow it up in my head as something way worse than it is and then of course that would have an effect on how I treated him.
These kind of thoughts can wreak havoc on not only our relationships but our lives too.
But since I’ve been doing this work of getting out of my own head I notice when I’m creating something in my head and most of the time it’s pretty ridiculous.
So if Eric and I disagree, I don’t make it mean there’s something deeper wrong with us or that he doesn’t want to be married to me or I don’t want to be married to him.
It’s crazy to me to look back and think about some of the times I made myself miserable because I was so in my head creating worse and worse scenarios, we do that don’t we? Have these imaginary conversations where we really let someone have it and how is that affecting the way we treat them the next time we see them?
My grandfather lived to be 91, he was awesome. He’s been gone a while and I really miss him. He was such a role model for me of health and vitality up to his very last years. But he was also very opinionated and not very quiet about it. He would just let you know how things were with no filter. He once told a waitress she was obese. Now in his mind he was helping her by letting her know she needed to be healthier. We could have crawled under the table when he said it, we were like Grandpa and my dad would say “dad”! You can’t say that. and he was like what? It’s true. So there were many stories like that. But he did this thing where he and this was a lot, he would be sitting somewhere or driving or standing or doing nothing and he would be having this conversation with someone in his head and we all knew it because he was gesturing and his facial expressions were fierce. We used to say he was really giving someone the “what for” in his head. He did it all the time. He died long before I knew about this mind work so we just thought it was a normal thing to do, he was just really animated when he did it. But now I know he was so in his head and those imaginary conversations were probably making things way worse especially for the person he was having them with because he probably gave them an earful when he saw them in real life. If I knew then what I know now, I would have said Grandpa get out of your head…
That’s a tactic I’ve started using. In one of Scott Adam’s books he suggested using that tactic of actually saying to yourself “get out of your head”. And now when I notice myself starting to spiral with my thoughts, I literally say to myself “get out of your head”. Keep that in your back pocket because it works. It brings you back to being present.
For me it has brought me back from making things way more miserable than they really are and also from creating not so good scenarios with the people I love most just because I’m frustrated.
Now My grandpa was awesome. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea of him. He really was. He was loving in his own way. But I don’t think he was ever introduced to this mind work at all because he was in his head a lot. He had a lot of conversations in his head. He also gave people the what for in real life and now I wonder if it was because he had worked himself up with the conversations he was having in his head. Probably.
My question to myself and you listening is what affect are the thoughts in our head having on our day to day life and our relationships with other people? are we treating people differently in real life due to a scenario that we created in our head? Have we created that someone is mad at us and now we avoid them? Have we created that someone doesn’t like us so now we aren’t friendly to them either? Are we going out of our way to avoid a situation because we are thinking that person will be there and they might be thinking this or that. We have got to get out of our heads as much as we possibly can in order to live a fun,happy, fulfilling life where we are present more often than not.
That’s my challenge to you today. Notice how the thoughts in your head correlate with the actions you take. I’m telling you it’s crazy what we create when we’re stuck in our own head and then it’s even crazier how it affects everything we do. So as many times as is necessary throughout the day, do like I do and tell yourself “Get outta your head”. Share this with 3 people who help you stay present! I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days!
