Hi guys! Welcome to the 16th episode of the WILDLY Successful Lifestyle podcast!
Real quick message to hop over to my website heididawson.com and download my free PDF and video to help you identify who you really are and shape the way you present yourself to the world! It’s a powerful tool that’s my gift to you. OK now…
How many times do you hear people say “You’re perfect just the way you are”? Oftentimes if you hear that it is coming from a good friend, your spouse, your mom. Sometimes it’s a meme you read on Instagram. Do you believe them when they say this or does it bounce off and your immediate thought is “they probably don’t mean it”. More than likely they do mean it. They are not asking you to change to please them and that is a good thing because many times people want you to change because it will make them feel better.
I’m starting here because what I think these lovely friends and family members mean when they say you’re perfect the way you are, they mean the REAL you is perfect. The authentic you, not the work version or the social media version or the polite in front of strangers version. The YOU that laughs easily, the you that tells funny, goofy jokes, the you that does that little dance when you’re happy. Cries at happy or sad movies, The one that is behind the shell that you put up when you’re in public or the shell you created to make yourself “acceptable or appropriate”.
Growing up I cried a lot as a little girl. I would get my feelings hurt easily. My dad would say I was thin skinned. Do we even use that saying any more? I don’t know. He was trying to toughen me up. I wouldn’t change the way I was raised for anything. It made me into who I am today. I’m not sure when I stopped crying either. I think as a teen and young adult I felt so judged that I stopped showing my real feelings to most people. I built this strong woman shell around myself and have lived most of my adult life with it. I saw crying as a show of weakness. Little by little I’ve been breaking it apart because of so much self work. I now realize that crying is a show of strength because you are comfortable expressing your feelings. I swear with this quarantine I’ve been crying more than I have in a long time. And it isn’t because I feel sorry for myself. I cried talking to my sister in law because of her bravery in spite of being scared she’s a nurse on the covid floor. I cried watching Amos Lee do a live Instagram concert from his living room because it was so touching and I was so grateful for that show of love from him to us…
I now know that people’s judgment of you doesn’t matter. It has more to do with them than it does with you. I realized that no-one’s opinions can hurt you if you don’t let them. And I know, that is easier said than done, that’s why I am a big believer in the saying “What other people think of you is none of your business” DO you know why I like that statement? Because think about it. Everyone comes with an agenda. Your friends, your peer group, even your parents and siblings. They are Well intentioned most of the time but always with their worldview comes into the equation. Friends and family can give you guidance and growing up that’s super important to have but deep down ultimately the person that knows what is best for you is you and you have to learn to trust that inner guidance system if you are going to live authentically.
Someone else having an opinion of you doesn’t make it true. It makes it well, their opinion. That’s about it! And you know what they say about opinions.
So ultimately what I am trying to say
If you’re goofy, be goofy, if you’re serious be serious. Your people are gonna love you no matter what. Changing things about yourself for someone else never works…you know why? Because you are constantly learning, evolving and growing as and so are they and if you change for them this week then next week they may expect you to change something else and trust me that never ends. It is not your job to change so that other people are happy. They have to make themselves happy and you are the only one that can make you happy. You don’t want to be swaying with every opinion someone else has….eventually you aren’t going to recognize yourself and you’ll be bending in every direction to make others happy. This can cause serious problems eventually.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t want to grow and evolve, I am saying don’t change for someone else unless that change resonates deeply with you as something you know deep down is right for you and it is coming from a place of love. Lean into the people who love you for you and try to surround yourself with people that are growing and learning and inspire you to do the same.
A strong root system is why trees are able to withstand strong storms. We are all going to have to deal with strong winds (right now is a perfect example quarantine) at any given time in our life. If we have a strong root system, and what I mean by that is a strong belief in our self we aren’t going to be uprooted by every storm that comes our way.
Ok guys I hope you enjoyed this episode! I would REALLY appreciate a 5 star rating from you and Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @theheididawson! See you in a few days!
