Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 266 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle Podcast. How’s it going?
Are you looking for all the good that’s going on in the world? It’s so easy to get sucked into the idea that the world is in a bad place, and if you look for reasons to back that up, you’ll find them. But the world is also the best it’s ever been and if you look for reasons to back that up you will find it in droves. Try it and let me know what you find.
Ok so I was listening to Dr Attia’s podcast this last week and he gave some very specific things we need to be able to do to have a longer life (it was his podcast on Andrew Huberman’s lab podcast) but it made me so happy to have a specific list, because I don’t know about you but sometimes it’s nice to just hear “If you do these 3 things, you’ll be healthy or fit or rich or whatever. In other words, it’s nice to have someone just kind of tell you what to do and then if you do it, it works. Now the problem often comes with following through on it.
It’s like we get super motivated and we are like “ok I have this plan, someone has given me what I need to do and I’m really going to do it this time, only to fall back into our old habits, because that little voice inside our head that pulls all the strings talks us into going back to our comfort zone.
Does that sound familiar? Any of you have that little puppeteer inside your head? The one that talks you into things you ultimately know is not what you want to do but you fall back into it anyway? It’s The one that justifies skipping the gym because you’re tired…, the one that justifies the donuts “because you deserve it”, the one that says “let’s start eating healthy tomorrow, what’s one more day”. That one? I know all about that guy because I have one too and he’s very convincing and he’s very manipulative and why I make him a “he” I don’t know…… men and women both have this little puppeteer. That’s what Jeff Warren, my meditation guide calls him.
So you can have all the specific lists you want, you can know everything you are supposed to do to reach that goal and still not do it. There’s battle between your intelligent brain and your primitive brain and guess where the puppeteer lives? It isn’t the thinking brain. Because when the intelligent brain is doing the decision making, it’s from a place of forethought and planning. It’s when you leave everything up to chance that the little guy wins out.
When you plan and have forethought, you control the puppeteer. When you don’t, that’s when anything goes and you start heading back to your comfort zone. And I know it feels so temporarily good when you cave and just eat that cake or just decide to skip the gym, but you know and I know you’re going to feel that desire again. The one that wants to be healthy and fit. The one that wants to follow through with that new business idea. The one that goes the extra mile in your relationships. We want to be the best version of ourselves, we really do. The only thing standing in my way is me and the only thing standing in your way is you. That’s the first thing you have to know. You control that little guy in your head. He’s super powerful but you’re more powerful.
So because I know we like lists, I took it upon myself to come up with 3 things that if we do them they will radically improve our life. Our thinking brain likes lists. The little puppeteer in your head will encourage you to ignore them, to listen to them tomorrow. But let’s overrule him for the moment.
If you take these 3 things and you embrace them and accept that they affect your overall happiness in a tangible way, you can radically improve your life and eventually the little guy in your head will get on board but not until he’s tried every trick in the book to get you to stay safely in your comfort zone.
So here’s the list for your thinking brain of 3 things that will change your life….
Accept Personal responsibility for what you allow in your mind
Accept Personal responsibility for what you eat and how much you move
Accept Personal responsibility for how you relate to other people.
These 3 things are totally within your control. I personally believe that the first one is the most important one because it will affect the other 2. So that one is personal responsibility for what you allow in your mind. The reason I say that is food commercials, opinion news, negative gossip, Netflix series, this all affects what you crave, how much time you spend on the couch instead of moving, and it affects how you look and respond to other people.
I can be watching something on YouTube, not be hungry, see an ad for something delicious and all of a sudden Im hungry. I can be determined to go for a run or a walk, but first Im going to watch one episode, which gets me all entangled so now I watch 4 and it’s dark so no run, Watching the news can have you demonizing an entire portion of the country and you don’t even know the real reason, they just aren’t on your team. Paying attention to the news will have you feeling depressed or sad so that now you’re unable to say no to that little guy in your head that wants you to go get ice cream.
We have got to be better. We have got to pay attention to how we feel first and foremost. There are too many distractions out there, it’s too easy to settle onto easy street that only leads to mediocrity at best. So what we give our attention to is first and foremost on that list.
The second one also affects the other two. Personal responsibility for what you eat and how much you move. If you are eating food that causes you to feel bad or makes you tired and lethargic, that makes it hard to move and then that little guy in your head starts telling you there’s no point in exercising because you ate so bad so just chill and watch Netflix. And if you are not happy with how you look and feel that affects your relationship with just about everything else in your life. I know it does for me. My puppeteer used to tell me “just cancel, you don’t have anything to wear that fits. If I feel bad about myself because I haven’t been taking care of me, I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to get dressed up, I don’t want to see other people and when I do, Im not the best version of me and That’s not how I want to show up, not anymore.
And finally. How you relate to other people. You don’t control how they act, you only control how you respond. That little guy in your head will ruminate and create all kinds of vindictive scenarios that simply make it worse, he will create problems where there are none because someone didn’t text you back or you misunderstood the text you did get. He will continue old arguments or remind you of past mistakes as often as you let him. Those types of thoughts don’t serve you and they don’t do anything good for your relationships. When you feel that little guy starting to stir up trouble….purposely focus your attention elsewhere. Let him know he doesn’t hold the power anymore, you’re taking control.
And here’s the beauty of it, That little guy, that puppeteer is just programming. You can program him to do what you want, or you can allow your phone, or your tv or your peer group to program him. That voice is the product of your programming but YOU are NOT that voice. That’s why sometimes you feel so torn because part of you wants to do what’s right for you and the other part wants to do what’s easy and what’s safe. Who wins out? Whichever one you feed.
So where do you stand on these three things? What are you allowing to take up space in your head? What are you eating and how much are you moving? And how are you doing in taking responsibility for every relationship you have right now, even if it’s just in your head. Our thoughts about people affect our relationships with them whether they know what you’re thinking or not. There’s plenty of studies that show that to be true.
How much control does your puppeteer have and do you know you have the power to tell him no?
The more you tell him no the easier it will get. That’s how we get disciplined. The definition of discipline is “training that produces moral or mental improvement.”
The little guy in your head is ok with mediocrity because it’s safe, that’s why it’s difficult to push forward because he is constantly pulling you back. Don’t let him. Train yourself to tell him NO.
My challenge to you today is simple. Just notice that little guy in your head. Notice the things he says, notice the things he stops you from doing, notice the things he justifies. That’s all I want for today, is to notice him. Awareness is the first step. Overruling him is the second step and consistency is the third. When you get to consistency, that’s when radical change happens.
I love you guys Ill talk to you in a few days.
