Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 268 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Things seem to be looking up, don’t you think? If you don’t agree, ask yourself why. Is it because of what you are watching or is it because of what you are actually living. Because most of the time social media and the news will have you feeling like the world is a mess when if you look around at the sun shining and you pass a stranger, and they smile and say hello, or you have a great workout and a fulfilling day at work, Your reality is good, so why are we focused on something that isn’t? Just a thought. And as always, I’m working on that right alongside you.
Many of you know, if you’ve been listening a while, that I am an interior designer by trade…as a designer, I help people update their homes. Most of the time people ask me if they can hang onto this or if this will still work with the new design. They want to hang onto things because they paid a lot for them 20 years ago or they don’t really like it but it makes them feel guilty to get rid of it. And I’m always honest with them. Sometimes people are genuinely just looking for permission to get rid of something and sometimes they are truly torn. I always say if you genuinely love it and it makes you happy to look at it, we will work it in. But if you’re keeping something you don’t like because it meant something to someone else, then let’s let it find its new home where someone else will love it again. It deserves that. We recently updated our home, and I have a few pieces my grandfather made. One is a bench from a horse and buggy that he found at an antique store many years ago. I could and will make that work anywhere because I truly love it and it makes me happy every time I look at it. Sometimes it feels like the exact same work when I’m coaching.
When we are working on updating ourselves, we have to do the same thing. Sometimes there’s parts of us that someone else likes but that don’t serve us anymore. It’s ok to let that go. Nothing would make my parents happier than if I went back to being in their religion, but that thought never even occurs to me anymore because that wouldn’t serve me. I’ve let that go. Sometimes we will be with friends and everyone’s having a drink and they ask me what I want to drink and I say I’ll just have a water, and I know they might like it if I drink too but I don’t want it so I let that go. That doesn’t fit into my new house so to speak. Not on a Tuesday anyway. And guess what? They really don’t care if I drink or not, maybe for a minute and then we move on and everyone has an amazing time and everyone gets to do exactly what they want.
You don’t have to keep that grandfather clock you don’t like simply because your mother loved it. And you don’t have to keep that old habit or belief simply because your friends or parents or teacher still want you to have it.
We worry so much about what other people think when what we truly should be the most worried about is what we think.
If I keep living my life trying to fit into everyone else’s, I may seem happy to them, but inside I’m slowly losing myself. If I drink because other people will have more fun if I do, but I don’t want it, what am I telling myself? I’m saying to myself you don’t matter. And let me say this harsh truth…if I do that and I resent my friends now because I drink even though I don’t want to, who’s fault is that? My friends? Nope. It’s mine.
It’s just like being irritated that you’re keeping a piece of art you don’t like, and the only reason you keep it is because great grandma painted it. Either find something you love about it or let it find its way to a home that will love it. That is something I learned in my FENG SHUI course. Only things you love should have a place in your home. Just because someone else loved it once doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
The same goes for your habits and beliefs.
It’s not my job to keep being the same person someone else wants me to be. It’s my job to be the person I want to be and the right people will stay and the others will drop off and that’s ok.
It feels good to update our space. It feels good to be in a space that you love. There’s nothing wrong with shedding old pieces that you don’t love and allowing them to find a new home. We get ourselves tangled up when we start attaching meaning to letting go of things. You either love it or you don’t. It either serves you or it doesn’t. Period. Think past the piece and forward to how you’ll feel in a space that is full of only things you love. The peace you’ll feel, the joy of coming home.
The same goes for your new identity. So many times we hang onto habits because of the meaning we attach to it. I’ll lose my friends if I start eating healthy. They’ll think I’m no fun if don’t drink. I won’t know what’s going on if I stop taking in the news or spending time on Twitter. Stop focusing on what you’ll lose and start focusing on what you’ll gain. You’ll gain your own respect. You’ll gain your health. You’ll gain feeling good every morning. You’ll gain having a clear mind.
You could actually create a life you love rather than settling for a life where distractions feel better than reality.
My challenge to you today is to look at the things you wish you could change that aren’t serving you or that you don’t like in your life. Could be a grandfather’s clock in your entry or it could be drinking 3 margaritas every Tuesday. I don’t know, but I bet you do. and ask yourself why am I not changing them. Is it because of what someone else will say or think? Is it because you feel guilty if you do? You don’t even have to commit to change it right now, just be aware of why you’re hanging on to it. You may realize it just never occurred to you that you can change it. You’ve got this.
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I love you guys Ill talk to you in a few days!
