timeframe and felt like I was avoiding starting the project right away so I must not have wanted to do it. They had every intention of paying the whole invoice, but never heard back on the partial payment so wasn’t sure where things stood. We ended up having a very heartfelt conversation and the total invoice was paid no problem and now we both feel seen and heard. Relationship salvaged. Now obviously communication could have been better at the start but the point of the whole thing is this. I did the hard option which was to address things honestly. That was the only option that was going to clear the air for us both. The other two options were easier but they would have left loose ends and hard feelings everywhere. A lot of times the hard option is ultimately the right one in the long run. I have to say it feels really good to also stand up for myself and my client got to stand up for themself too.
So many times we want to take the shortcut, the easy out, the less confrontational option because it’s easy or we don’t want to seem aggressive. But the one thing we all always need to remember is people will treat you exactly how you allow them to. If I don’t want my time undervalued, I can’t allow my time to be undervalued.
This experience taught me a pretty powerful lesson that choosing the hard option—clear, honest communication—can be such a game-changer, not just in business but in life. Let’s be honest, we’ve all had moments where we’re torn between sweeping things under the rug or facing them head-on.
In those moments, we often just want to avoid things and hope it goes away.
When I was deciding how to respond to that text, my stomach was literally in knots. Confrontation isn’t fun for most of us, some people like it, but not most. There’s this fear of being seen as “too much” or possibly burning a bridge. Maybe you’ve felt that too—whether it’s with a client, a friend, or even a family member. You worry about rocking the boat, so you lean toward the path of least resistance. But here’s the thing: avoiding the tough conversation doesn’t make the problem go away. It’s like ignoring a leaky pipe—it might seem fine for a while, but eventually, it’s gonna flood your house.
What I realized through this experience is that clear communication isn’t just about standing up for yourself; it’s about creating space for mutual understanding. My client wasn’t trying to shortchange me—they were frustrated too! They had their own story going on in their head, just like I did. And isn’t that just so human? We all walk around with our own assumptions, and without an honest conversation, those assumptions can build walls between us.
So, how do you choose the hard option without feeling like you’re starting a fight? From this experience, I realize the first thing is to:
- Pause and Reflect Before Responding: When that text came in, I didn’t fire back right away, even though I thought about it. I gave myself a moment to process my emotions. Ask yourself: What’s the real issue here? Am I upset because of the money, the lack of communication, or something deeper? Getting clear on your feelings helps you approach the conversation with intention, not just reaction.
- Be sure to start the conversation with empathy, Not Accusation: When I reached out to my client, I didn’t start with, “Hey, you owe me money!” Instead, I shared how the situation made me feel and acknowledged that they might have their own perspective. Phrases like, “I felt a bit confused when this happened,” or “I want to make sure we’re on the same page,” open the door to dialogue without putting the other person on the defensive. I actually said “I wanted to communicate this clearly because I value the relationship, which is true.
- And then you have to set Clear Boundaries Moving Forward: After we cleared the air, I made a mental note to set clearer expectations with clients in the future—like discussing payment terms upfront, even with people I trust. Boundaries aren’t about mistrust; they’re about creating a framework where everyone feels respected.
Now, maybe you’re not an interior designer dealing with clients, but have you ever had a coworker take credit for your idea? Or a friend who keeps canceling plans without acknowledging how it affects you? These are all moments where you get to choose: Do I let it slide, or do I speak up? The hard option—addressing it lovingly but firmly—a lot of times leads to stronger relationships and a stronger sense of self. I was really proud of both of us for how we handled the conversation. It made me feel strong and proud that I didn’t just roll over; it made me feel so confident.
Choosing the hard option builds your confidence. Every time you stand up for your worth, you’re telling yourself, “My time, my energy, my work—it matters.” That’s not just a business lesson; that’s a life lesson. It’s about showing up authentically in every area of your life, whether it’s with clients, colleagues, or even your kids.
My challenge for you today is Over the next week, I want you to identify one situation in your life where you’ve been avoiding a tough conversation. Maybe it’s with a coworker who’s been slacking, a friend who hurt your feelings, or even a family member who keeps overstepping. Whatever it is, commit to addressing it with clear, loving communication—just like I did with my client. It freed up so much mental space for me and it will for you too. Share this with three people who matter in your life. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
