HI guys! Welcome to Episode 162 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Is it calming down in your part of the world or are you still playing dodge ball with everything going on?
My guess is, you are probably dealing with some of the same things we are here in Memphis. It can be really hard to manage your mind when there seems to be so much going on in the world. Especially if it’s negatively affecting your kids or your spouse or anyone in your family. I
Sometimes we just have to know there are going to be things outside of our control that affect us, which can be very frustrating. But it’s universal and you’re not alone. We all feel that way at times. But even within all of the things going on, we still have choices. We still get to make choices. Sometimes we make the things we are dealing with worse because of the meaning we attach to them. For instance, they are requiring masks again here where I live. I don’t like it. A big part of that probably has to do with how I was raised, with all the requirements and the shaming if you didn’t conform and it seems like that’s what people are doing in mass.right now. But is that true or is that what I’m creating, what I’m making it mean because of my framework about control.
So I tend to revolt at the thought of someone shaming me for doing something I don’t want to do. That is neither good or bad, it just is what it is. But I’ve found that I have to really work on my mindset because I can get myself really worked up if I let my brain have its way with me. I will have thoughts like they are trying to take all of our freedoms. They just want power and like control. Now how in the world is that going to make my day go well?
It isn’t! But what if I softened it and said you know, it is a virus that people are really scared of, and I can choose to not go places where I have to wear a mask, so when I do go somewhere that requires it, that is still my choice. I could also choose to not wear it at all and have someone have to tell me to put it on, that’s not my favorite but I have done that too. So, it’s been helping me a lot because what I have been doing is focusing on the choices I do have, rather than focusing on the regulations and mandates, over which I have no control. So you see, softening it and focusing on my choices gives me control of how I think about it rather than letting my brain run free with it and creating all these horrible scenarios that end up nowhere good and are more than likely not even gonna happen.
We can also make our choices work for us. My husband and I were having a conversation with friends about our new renovation and how we are enjoying it. Someone made a comment about a good recipe for making biscuits in a convection oven and Eric said “Heidi can’t have biscuits’ ‘. I laughed and said “I CAN have them, I choose not to”. Because the minute you tell your brain It can’t have something, it will send you signals that it wants it so bad. So this is a good one if you are working on a cleaner eating lifestyle, put the power in your hands by saying something like “oh, I don’t eat biscuits or I don’t eat dairy” rather than, “I’m not allowed to have that on my diet”. When you say that You’re giving your power to the diet guy setting the rules for you. You set the rules for you because you care about the way you look and feel, it’s as simple as that. You could actually eat whatever you want, you’re an adult, it’s your choice and you are choosing your health over your cravings. Eventually when you have made that choice often enough you won’t even have those cravings anymore, I know because I’m living proof.
Money is another area where this can work really well. We had friends that were talking about a vacation home and they said “We can’t afford it, when they actually have the money in the bank to buy it outright, so it’s a choice. I said well actually you can afford it, it’s just not where you want to spend your money”. And they were like, “yeah, actually you’re right”. You see it feels good to acknowledge yourself and the good choices you make. If you are constantly telling yourself No you can’t do that or have that and you feel bad about it, the likelihood of that lasting effect isn’t so great. Everything is about mindset. And we start young knowing that too.
My friend Julie wrote a book called “Peace, Possibilities and Perspective”. I just finished reading it and in one of the chapters she talks about kids and how sometimes they throw a fit in the grocery store because you have told them no to something they wanted. But what if you gave them options? I loved this. What if you said, “no you can’t have that candy bar but I’m going to let you choose whatever kind of fruit you want, look at all your choices! All of a sudden they’re mind is like “I do have choices.” You kind of give them a little bit of control. Now I don’t have kids so I don’t know if that works. Some of you may be rolling your eyes right now, but I thought it sounded like a great idea! Instead of just putting your foot down, you’re giving them choices and that’s most of the time what we want, isn’t it? To feel like we have a choice, like we have some sort of control over our life?
And we do! We have so many choices that we make every day. We can make life hard on our self by attaching meaning that makes us feel bad or we can find a way to make our choices work for us.
Because every single day we wake up in America we have choices, everything we do is a choice.
Our life right now this moment is a result of the choices we have made up until today. But what about YOU in the future? Picture yourself 5 years from now. No really, I mean really get a clear picture of who you’re gonna be 5 years from now. What are you gonna be doing? How is your health? How are your finances? How are you going to look and feel?
Are you going to wish you had made different choices? Are you going to wish you had started saving money, or got that degree, or stopped smoking or made better food choices? You have control of that. You control your future self right now by the choices you make every day, from here on out, don’t have regrets…
Love yourself enough to be selfish about self care. Love yourself enough to put in the work at the gym,to treat your body like a temple and your home like a respite. You deserve to feel good, you deserve to be proud of how you look in your clothes, whatever that means, you deserve to make choices that make you better. We tend to make choices based on what others want or what others think. We look to other people to decide how we should feel about something. When deep down, you know. You know what’s right for you. There’s no one size fits all. You know if what you’re eating is nourishing you, you know if what you’re listening to or reading is making you better, you know innately if the path you are on right now is leading you to the best version of you possible.
And here’s the thing. Once you start on a path that is nurturing you, it gets addictive and you won’t want to turn around.
It’s not too late to start. You can start today and a year from now, you’ll be amazed at what you’ve accomplished. And it all starts with one thing. Your Choices.
My challenge to you today is just to be aware of the choices you are making daily. You don’t even have to change anything right now, just be aware. Awareness is the first step. Take note of what you’re eating, drinking, watching, and doing. Would your future self look back and want to hit you on the head or Would they wanna give you a high five? Only you can answer that. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
