Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 473 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! It’s good to be with you, hows your week so far? Are you starting to notice your thoughts and how they correlate with your moods? I hope so, I know for me it’s an every day effort. Just like I work every day on my physical health through nutrition and exercise, I have to do the same with my mental health….I have to practice exercising control over my thoughts every single day. And I notice how much more peaceful I feel and also how instead of my moods controlling my day, I control my thoughts which control my moods, so I am getting pretty good at reversing moods that aren’t serving me by getting to the root of what is causing the mood in the first place.
I was sitting the other morning having my coffee on the deck overlooking the gorgeous morning lake, with trees blowing gently in the cool morning breeze. It was heavenly, My little sister was with me and we were both wearing shorts because it was August and it’s normally very hot in August but we had a cool front so it was a little chillier than we realized it would be, which was wonderful but we realized we needed blankets. So she runs into get us blankets and I am left with my thoughts, my first thought was thank goodness now I don’t have to be insecure about the skin on my legs looking old next to her long perfect legs. And then I thought, Woah, where did that come from??? This was out of the blue. Here I am sitting in one of the most beautiful peaceful places I’ve been to in a while and Im going to think obnoxious thoughts about myself like that, comparing myself to my sister who is 18 years younger than me? What in the world? I reminded myself how hard I’ve been working to eat healthy and exercise and stay healthy and vibrant in my own right and comparing myself to anyone, let alone someone 20 years younger is the recipe for disaster. I had a little talk with myself about loving myself and being happy with just being a little better than I was yesterday instead of comparing myself to anyone else period. If I tell myself that I can only feel good about myself if my skin looks as good as Molly’s I will never feel good about myself again. We were laughing because we are from the same parents but she is long and lean and I’m lean but definitely curvier than she is. She said I always love how feminine you look and she said she said sometimes she doesn’t feel as feminine because she’s not as curvy… I said that’s sweet but you look like an olympic athlete, how does anyone compete with that? The short answer is YOU DON’T.
It’s a hard lesson to learn because we were raised hearing people say things like “I wonder if he will be as good as his brother in sports” or “she’s not as pretty as her sister” or “if you would all study as hard as Johnny you would have good grades too ” So we are pretty programed to compare from a young age….but if you could try to remind yourself every single day that you are a unicorn and everything you do is going to be very different from anything anyone else does. Even your closest siblings. Even when you’re doing the same things. Your version of doing it will be so different. if you learn that, you will be infinitely happier. How we frame our “so called” failures could be the difference between being a winner and well a “not winner”. Which in my book basically means you quit….
I was listening to a coach talking about how we trained a young girl for running a race, she’s 9 years old. He works with her for a few weeks when it’s time for her first 100 meter race. They get to her first race, the racers line up, she is racing against 7 others, the gun goes off and she runs her little heart out. She hurls herself to the finish line. She ends up 8th out of the 8 runners, she ran the race in 18 seconds. She runs to her coach, devastated and says I was last! I’m no good! He looks at her and says you weren’t last, she said yes I was, and he said, no, you were 18 seconds! She seemed a little confused and he said “look, you smashed the 22 second barrier and, I had you down for being able to run it in 19 seconds and you beat that by a whole second just now. You know what that means? That means that was your best lifetime performance, in a way you set your own personal world record, really she says? And he says in some ways you were first, what do you mean, she asks, well your’e the first 9 year old athlete Ive ever coached that ran the 100 meters in 18 seconds. He goes on to say, you see in a few weeks she has another 100 meters race, what does winning mean now? if she runs it in 17.9 seconds or better she’ll grab a flag and run around the track because that’s what winning is. Winning is being better today than you were yesterday. Every single day.
So, Are you better than you were yesterday? That’s the only question any of us should be asking. It doesn’t matter what trophy your brother won, how much money your best friend makes or how good your skin looks next to your sisters. None of that matters. As soon as you start focusing on you compared to someone else in ANYTHING…do me a favor and STOP. Stop and ask yourself what you’ve done today to improve where you were yesterday. If you don’t like the answer, ok now we at least know where the work needs to be. A small guy asked his trainer how long it would take for him to be built like Arnold, his trainer looked at him and said “generations’. That’s a funny story but you know what? If he trained like Arnold he will be the best version of himself that HE can be. That’s what we are meant to be in our life. Nothing else. Just the best that we can be.
That’s my challenge to you this week. I want you to ask yourself one question…Are you better today than you were yesterday? That’s your goal. Your best is your best and only you know if you’re giving it. And totice when you’re tempted to compare yourself to someone on social media or that guy in the gym or God forbid your 18 year younger sister….Stop and pat yourself on the back for a win you’ve had that was your personal best, whatever that is. And share this with as many people as you can because the rise in social media has brought with it mental health issues the likes we have never seen I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
